Good omens 2.5

A narrow escape

Disclaimer: this chapter contains blood and violence.

Crowley only had a day to get his angel out of hell before the execution. The plan, at the simplest level, was to clear a path. That plan includes a distraction and a way to remove any demon still in the way. For the distraction Crowley took a quick trip to earth and acquired several pounds of C-4, road salt, and 2 timed detonator.

The demon grabs his clip board and pen, then makes his way towards cell block 9. This was the most extreme block and is without a doubt where an angel would be held. He just has to clear level 7 through 9. He knows from a stint he did in the 1800's for "incentive training" that there is an elevator on level 7.

Crowley has learned that if you act like you belong you can get almost anywhere. He walks right through the first 6 blocks. He waits to enter the 7th until his distraction goes off. Then boom! His salt bomb explodes far from him and within minutes a score of armed demons run past, towards the explosion. He wonders how many demons got salted in the blast. Good. To heaven with the lot of them. Crowley quickly sets another charge in the stairway and gets a move on. He has 20 minutes before it goes off.

There are about half the guards left on the floor. Crowley approaches the first. "'Scuse me I'm with D.R. Whats your name?"

"What? Me?" The demon looks very confused, "it's Kaster."

"Ah, yes Kaster. You're on this list. You need to report to the office and do a recertification on the infernal code right away." Crowley tells him.

"But- but I can't just abandon my post," Kaster stammers.

"Look, I'm just the messenger, but that course is expired and if it isn't done by end of day you'll be reprimanded. Harshly." Kaster heads towards the stairs without another word.

Crowley does this down the line, bullshitting forms and assignments that must be completed with the utmost urgency. Cell block 7 and 8 are cleared out just in time. On level 9 there are almost as many demons remaining as the 2 floors above put together. He must get straight to work.

"Hey there boss," this demon looks anything but amused with Crowley's presence. "I'm with demon resources tying up some loose ends for the quarter. Have you gotten your vacation day submitted for the decade? The deadline for submissions is end of day" the demon's eyes widen.

"Uh, no I haven't. Where do I go to do that?"

Crowley can't help but feel proud of himself, "oh yeah, it's in office 663 in the 3rd realm, can't miss it." And just like that it's off to the next.

The 20 minutes ends and there's an explosion that causes concrete to chip from the wall. 5 of the 8 demons take off towards the source right away not even paying Crowley any mind. The demon that looks to be the supervisor exchanges words with another guard before jogging off to investigate. He bumps shoulders with Crowley and spins to look at what he hit as if examining shit on the bottom of his boot.

"Hey, do I know you?" The supervisor gives all his focus to Crowley.

"I don't think so man. I'm looking for a Lilith though. Are you Lilith?" Crowley replies.

The demon narrows his eyes, "do I look like a Lilith to you?"

"Could be."

"My name is Samuel!" Crowley really shouldn't be antagonizing anyone. "No. You look familiar to me. I know you from somewhere."

"Well, yeah, I do work in D.R." He holds up the clipboard, "I see quite a lot of demons every day." Crowley starts to walk away, he has limited time after all.