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Wednesday feels guilt

Summary:
After the events of Crackstone, Wednesday is overwhelmed with guilt to a point where she decides to end it all.
(Trigger Warning: Suicidal Thoughts)

Wednesday has not been fine mentally for weeks.

Especially after the events of Crackstone, everything just got worse, especially the guilt. She felt guilty for Weems being murdered by the rather charming psychopath in red boots, for Eugene falling in a coma, and, most of all, for Enid getting hurt in the fight with the Hyde.

It was her fight. She should've fought the Hyde, not Enid.

She didn't deserve Enid as a friend.

She deserved no one as a friend.

She deserved nothing

Wednesday had written a suicide note which she put in the case of her typewriter to make sure no one will find it right away.

Dear parents, dear Pugsley, dear Uncle Fester,

I understand that my plan may seem very unlikely for me, but I trust you understand that I would only do things I know are the right choice. To me anyway. I only bring chaos where ever I go, and originally, I thought this would be s good thing. My destiny, if you may. And it turns out, that it is. And I can't accept that.

I won't be able to protect Pugsley anymore, so Uncle Fester, please do so in my name or I will rise from the dead and make you suffer unspeakable atrocities.

Mother, father, I am dearly sorry I am leaving you like this, but I am confident you know I only do what I think is right for me. And in this particular case, I am doing what's right for everyone.

Eugene, I wish I didn't go to the dance and joined you on your mission in the forest so you would not have gotten hurt. I wish I could do so, but I can't. And I feel sorry for now leaving this world, but I can not live with knowing all the things that happened being my, and only my fault.

Enid. At first, I thought I was incapable of having emotions, but you almost dying because of the Hyde convinced me otherwise. It made me feel something. It made me feel unbearable guilt. I should have fought the Hyde. I should have died while fighting him, not you. You are my best friend, and I will do whatever is required to make it up. I can not go on like this. You are special to me, Enid Sinclair, and I hope you know that.

Wednesday

Wednesday read it over and over again. Was she actually about to do this?

She searched for a different again and again but the guilt was too overwhelming for her.

She needed to do this.

Wednesday had already prepared everything.

She was standing on the balcony of her and Enid's room because she didn't want to die in the room. She could never do that to Enid. Of course, doing it on the balcony wouldn't be much better either, but doing it anywhere else was not an option. It just wouldn't feel right.

She held one of her many knives in her right hand, sleeves rolled up, ready to cut her wrists and exit this world for the better.

She had also planned exactly how she would to it. Cut left arm from wrist to elbow and then repeat the process on the other arm.

It was around 9 P.M. and Enid had left her and Wednesday's room only fifteen minutes ago to visit Yoko in her room, and she said she would come back in about an hour, but she didn't specify how long she would actually stay in Yoko's room. Usually, Wednesday would've made sure that no one was coming in the room for at least two hours, but she was so overwhelmed with her feelings that her planing was by far not as accurate and well thought out as usually.

The goth looked down at her right hand again, where the knife was still in a tight grip and practically told Wednesday to get it over with already.

I have to do it before Enid comes back. Wednesday simply thought. She just contemplated whether to do it while standing or sitting when-

„Hey Wednesday! Just forgot something!" Enid said happily as always as she walked over to her bed and searched for something in the nightstand.

While looking for the thing she forgot - some nail polish for a manicure with Yoko - she looked outside the window towards where Wednesday was standing. The goth wasn't facing Enid, instead she had her back turned to her roommate. Please don't come outside right now.

„Wednesday?" Enid said again, stepping one step forward. Wednesday had to keep her from coming outside and seeing what she was planning to do.

„Enid?" Wednesday finally answered, only turning her had so that Enid wouldn't see the knife.

Why is she behaving to weird? Why doesn't she face me? Something is wrong here. Enid thought.

„Is everything alright?" Enid asked, coming another step forward, now standing right at the opened window.

„Enid I just wish to be alone right now." Wednesday said, really hoping Enid wouldn't see the knife.

„Yes, I can see that. But you're behaving strange. I mean: You have been acting strange ever since the Hyde and Weems and stuff, and don't get me wrong - that's totally okay, it was really scary and traumatising, and I'm here for you. But something is really wrong right now. I can feel it. And I'm not leaving you until I know what's going on. Do you need some water?" She is so sweet. Wednesday thought, then immediately repressed that thought and asked herself why she would think that.

„I..." Wednesday starts with a rather unsteady tone, it's just to slightly trembling, but Enid notices.

„Wednesday?" the werewolf asked softly, now stepping out of the window onto the balcony.

Shit, shit, SHIT-

Wednesday now held the knife closer to her body in a rather desperate attempt to hide it from her roommate. Her hands started shaking, and Wednesday felt a single tear rolling down her face.

Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together!

„Okay. What's going on?" Enid asked, soft but persistant.

She waited for an answer but as there didn't seem to be one coming, Enid softly grabbed Wednesday's left arm to make her face her.

And in this moment, Enid noticed the knife.

„Why are you having a knife in four hand? And your sleeves, you never roll them..." Then it clicked.

Enid felt her stomach drop.

„Wednesday give me the knife." Enid slightly started to panic.

„Enid please. Im just a bother to everyone. I can't do this anymore." At this point, Wednesday started crying. Enid didn't know if she should try to just grab the knife and take it out of Wednesday's hand, but then there was the possibility that Wednesday could panic and try to hurt herself with it while she was standing next to Enid.

„Wednesday, look at me!" Enid said, panicking even more since Wednesday seemed to be so destined to hurt herself.

„We can talk about this. We can talk about everything but please, please put down the knife." „Enid please, I-" Wednesday started but she was cut off. This was the moment Enid also started crying. „Please" It hurt Wednesday's pitch black heart to see Enid crying.

Wednesday opened her hand and the knife fell down on the ground with a clinking noise.

Question of the day: Have you ever broken a bone?