Bitter Steps to better life

Chapter 7: Every smile hides pain.

In 10th grade, I met Vashali. She attended the school across the street from mine.
We were both in the same grade. At first, I didn't talk to her much, but when both of our friends began making decisions for us that we didn't like, we took a step toward friendship, though we were strange. She was constantly making everyone laugh.

After completing the tenth grade, I enrolled in the arts program at one of the higher secondary schools.
I accidentally ran into someone on the first day while getting lost in a crowd. I went around again to face the person. She showing up on the same campus surprised me.

After shaking hands, we exchanged information about our respective stream memberships and percentages.

I would occasionally approach her when I received my lunch so we could spend time together during recess.

Since I was in the arts stream and she was in science, we didn't get to interact much. I would become enraged whenever someone made fun of her.

I'm not sure why, but I wouldn't appreciate it if someone made fun of her.
Despite the fact that she would never admit it, I knew she was hurting. Whenever I said to her, "Why don't you back answer them?
I don't like the way they tease you," she always answered, "Because I don't like the way they tease you.". When she was not incensed and bothered by the situation, she would respond, "Chill, babes! Why are you bothered by it?". I would remain silent for a while.

She experienced eye vision issues a few days later. She was unable to focus on her studies as a result of this issue. She was thus unable to advance to the next level as intended.
She lost interest as well, along with her grades. She returned to the 11th Arts, and I was moved up to the 12th.

I still struggled to find close friends after a year, but she had many. She was acting in a very different way than I was. She was amiable and would easily strike up a conversation with strangers, making them into friends.
I always didn't care much for people, was shy, and loved to be by myself. She spoke with a magic that could easily win anyone over.
She occasionally let teachers know who I was.
At this point, we could travel together every day, but not during exams.

Any time she needed assistance, she could ask me for it, and her family would always be gracious hosts when I visited her home.
I would never feel like I was in a stranger's home because her mother would treat me like I was her daughter.

My family would move in with me because it was my home. We were once again split up as I finished my upper secondary education.
Even though I didn't care much, I did occasionally think about her.

Sometimes I would wait at the bus stop in the hopes of catching the same bus as she did.
Her company would make me happy for a very long time, even for a short while.

She applied at the same college where I was studying after I had finished my first year.
Despite the fact that it did not show on my face, I was joyful and filled with victory; my heart was bursting with joy.

I had no cell phones in the past.
My second year was when I acquired a cell phone. To attend my class, she was simply too lazy. I occasionally ran into her during a free lecture or a break in class. We would visit each other every day.

Now it seems like our bonds are stronger.
Despite the hot sun burning out, Vashali, Priyanka, and I would always sit under a tree close to a bus stop where there was good shade and a cool breeze.

Because of the closeness of our friendship, we would only eat when we had enough money to buy food for everyone. If we had less than that, we would hideously keep the remaining cash in our bags to prevent anyone from feeling left out. We both experienced financial difficulties.
On occasion, I received payment for creating someone's PowerPoint presentation or finishing their journal.

There wasn't much, but 100/- was better than nothing at all. I was always excited to receive money. Having and enjoying your own money is preferable to doing so with someone else's money. I didn't like to enjoy myself by myself, so I would always buy something for the two of us with whatever money I had. I always want to share with her.

You know I am worthy, Vashali said to Priyanka one day while we were all sitting together: "I am. I never imagined that someone would become my best friend in life, but having Jyoti as a friend changed that.

My confidence in friendship was destroyed by an event that happened in my ninth grade.
I stopped letting people get close to me after my own best friend hid the knife behind the bile.
My attitude toward my closest friends was hateful, but Jyoti changed both.". I had no idea she had such negative thoughts about me. After that, we became more intimate.

My neighbour was always beaming broadly.
When she was talking to me at random one day, I learnt that she was unaware that her husband was having a heart attack until he was suddenly taken to the hospital. She had a baby boy who needed to be breastfed, but she still chose to stay at the hospital to care for her husband while leaving her son at home.

She brought Idlis for her husband every day at precisely 6:30 a.m. Instead of worrying about food, she was worried about how she reacted to hearing the shocking news that her husband had been admitted to the intensive care unit.
She was there to be by his side day and night, even in times of extreme suffering; if she weren't, he would act out in childlike ways.

He would shout at her or bombard her with questions as his rage grew. He insisted that she provide for herself with her own hands and that she live with him forever. Her mother asked if she could take both of her kids to their own village so she could get some relief, but she couldn't because she would breastfeed the younger one.
Her daughter would sob and shed tears whenever she went to the house to freshen up and take a bath in secret. She would jokingly inform her mother, "Mummy, Aunty makes me work every day.

Sai (my brother) is given to me to carry, and she gives me that responsibility. She could feel the tears dripping from her cheeks as she heard these words. She was at a loss for what to do and what to avoid because she was helpless. She struggled with her daily problems while she was with him in the hospital, and as a result of the stress, she gained a lot of weight.
He was released a few months later.

She was troubled by how everyone behaved.
She exhibited incredible bravery in how she handled being left in agony and breaking down in tears.