Bitter Steps to better life

Chapter 18: Victim

When I started using Facebook in my first year, it was through my brother's phone. I posted randomly. I didn't talk with strangers, but a sudden mistake of mine led me to chat. Some people arrived as if they wanted friendship, and I was dying of loneliness and stress. I wanted someone with whom I could spend time and let the time flow. I joined some pages where I could have some fun. As I joined them, I got many message requests. I chatted with each and every person, thinking that at least someone would be my friend, but they didn't. There were some people who directly approached me, revealing what they wanted, whereas others made excuses, saying that they loved me.
 
 
There were many peers who were in search of a girlfriend. I would ask what the reason is behind having a girlfriend. Some said it was for fun; others wanted it because their friends had it. Once, a boy who was much younger than me blurted out some love phrases. I rejected his proposal; he started blackmailing me, saying that he'd cut off his hands, thinking that I'd agree to him, but I didn't. He started spitting erotic phrases. I felt uncomfortable and abusive. I don't know why I was used to my inner surroundings as my father brought me up. I wouldn't even back-answer them. Sometimes I would ask myself, Am I too kind? Or am I a coward? I just kept quiet and blocked him.
 
I had commented on one of the posts. It was a game where we had to react with a third emoji. Shubham had posted that post. He was too kind to me, not like others. He wasn't interested in lust and all that. I told him about my morning walks and talks. Once he had asked me, "Don't you get scared?"
I asked, "Of what?"
He said, "You'll be raped or abused by someone when you are walking.". 
I was so furious that I shouted at him. In my mind, I was thinking, Why should we be scared? We shouldn't be cowards all the time.
 
It was a fresh morning. I saw one message request. It was about Abhishek; he had random talks with me and told me about his farms, village, and culture. He asked me about my relationship status. In return, I asked the same question. He told me he loved one girl truly, but he lost her. The reason behind it, he told me, was that she shifted to another state after her 10th. It was the last time he met her. He told her that she, too, was a fraud.
I asked, Why is she a fraud, and what did she do that you are cursing her?". 
He replied, "Because when I asked her for sex on last school day,she denied it and said I couldn't do it because I am bleeding now. Some other day, I'll see. That was our last meet and talk, but I don't understand how she can bleed when I didn't even contact her physically.".
I tried to clarify his doubt, telling him that it's his period, but he was confused. In return, he asked, "Periods! What is that?"  I didn't answer him, but I understood one thing: many don't have proper knowledge about periods, but they want to have sex.
I met many boys who all carried broken hearts. Some were separated because girls couldn't marry them, whereas on the other side, many girls left them using their money. Many boys got into the addiction of drinking and smoking; they didn't even care about their families. They were always stressed and depressed.
There was one boy who was broken, and some days later he came to know that he had a brain tumor, but still he was living a deathly life every day by smoking and drinking instead of spending time with his family. When I tried to provide him with concern as a friend, he told me to be his girlfriend for some time.
 
Today's generation has gotten down to the trend of relationships.
Where everyone wants a relationship
for some or other purpose.
Some need desire.
while others need money.
Where boys have been ATMs and girls have been products
In this trend, people are lost in the world of comparison.
Where do they lower their self-esteem?
by considering ourselves ugly.
They just want a relationship.
to prove themselves.
as beautiful and useful.
- Jyoti.j 
 
It didn't just happen to me; it happens to many of them every day, but the only reason is that we don't want to reveal it because we will be blamed or we will lose our honor. There is so much cyberbullying going on. Which kills many souls and bodies.