Ravening

glad I took your hand

"For what's it worth, she didn't suffer. I took all that pain away and only told her when to scream."

"Why?" You looked up, eyes widening in surprise.

"I like making Amarantha live in an illusion. It makes me feel like I have the upper hand, even for just a moment."

"..."

"So, I don't mind you blaming me for the girl and her family, hating me for it. Trust me, I've done things much, much worse..."

You shook your head, there was no way you could do as he said.

You couldn't hate Rhysand as long as a miniscule, hated part of you felt... a little relieved. Glad that he lied, that it wasn't your family that died in that fire. Your corpse that hanged in the throne room.

How awful of a human being did that make you?

"Oh stop being so dramatic Feyre."

"There's no reason why I should be the one alive."

Rhysand sighed, you were being needlessly difficult.

"Then let me give you one." He took your chin with his chilly fingers and stared deep into your eyes.

"Tamlin." Your eyes widened. "Lucien. The whole wretched Spring Court, they're all counting on you to get them out of here, their lives depend on you. That's what makes you worth so much more than the Beddors."

"..."

"Honestly, right now you're more of a high lord than that pouting bitch Tamlin is."

He raised his slender hands in defence, once he saw your expression, "sorry, sorry."

"All I am saying is: before you get any dangerous thoughts, think about all those whose lives will be affected if you give up."

It was unclear whether he was telling that more to you or himself. Honestly, you both needed that advice. To keep you from listening to your reflexes. So that you wouldn't flinch back when you got burnt, so that you'd keep standing in the rain. You had to remember that suffering meant you were doing the right thing.

"Right now, you're giving them hope, they might not believe in you, but even with their masks still on, everyone can see how smug those spring court—" you gave him a pointed look, "courtiers look when they walk around."

He might not have known, but his words made you think of your father. Were you not in the exact same situation that he had been?

Left with nothing but three defenceless daughters who depended on him.

All these years, you blamed him for not trying, for giving up the first chance he got.

What kind of hypocrite would you be if you now made the same choice he did?

"So focus on being the diligent freedom winner you are, and leave that distasteful self-detestation for later. Don't worry, you'll have more than enough time to wallow in misery."

He gave you a soft, ironic smile – which you reciprocated. Somehow, even though he spoke almost exclusively in taunts and insults, he was also the kindest, most caring person in here. It made you glad you took his hand that day.

"Stay away from her, and my fireplace, okay?" Rhys snarled after parting with you. His murderous tone left the guards quaking in their boots. 

art: ai art uplodaded by Hạ mây 
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