Fluff, angst & everything in between | Spider-man One-shots

Cursed to be alone [2]

Peter slid down against the wall of the dark alleyway, tears filling his eyes. He already missed Mr. Stark and felt bad about just leaving but he couldn't stay there and he knew Mr. Stark would be able to convince him to stay.

It was better this way.

He couldn't hurt anyone out here if no one knew who he was.

Aunt May's face filled his mind, and he closed his eyes tight, trying to drown out her dying screams in his ears.

He hadn't been fast enough.

He deserved this.

Shivering, he put up his hood and tightened the strings as tight as they would go so that they would cover his face and he fell into an uneasy sleep, his spidey sense blaring in the distant background of his mind.

—-----------

Tony blearily opened his eyes, to find he had fallen asleep on his worktable in his lab. He yawned and dragged a hand down his face, already automatically reaching for his coffee cup only to sigh in disappointment to find it empty.

He sighed, looking up as he got this crazy weird feeling that he was supposed to remember something, and it hit him with a start and (he wasn't used to this responsible-for-a-small-human-being thing (yet)) he jumped up and strode quickly (no, he was not running) to Peter's room asking Friday along the way if he was up yet.

Friday's voice replied, "Yes, Peter is up he left a little while ago. And has requested that I not tell you where or when he left."

Tony groaned in frustration, concern snaking through his mind. Why on earth would Peter leave!? He'd just lost his aunt for goodness' sake!!

"Friday override command using protocol 'Spider-baby Monitor'."

"Could not be completed, protocol 'Stop Spying On Me Mister Stark' is in effect." Tony could have sworn that Friday sounded a bit smug as she said this.

He sighed, alarm along with an increasing sense of alarm pooling in his stomach and he burst into Peter's room calling his name, half hoping this was some kind of sick prank the kid had concocted and he was actually here, safe, not-

He stops short. Sees the open window, curtains fluttering in the breeze and knows Peters not here.

Tony slams his hand against the wall next to the window, muttering a few things under his breath Pepper would smack him for, angry at Peter for just leaving like this, soon giving way to fear about where he is, what he's doing...

He runs a hand through his hair, taking a few deep breaths to calm his racing heart, before turning around and making his way back to his lab.

He pulls up the protocol to track Peter using the tracker he put in his suit, blinking in confusion when it says it's still in his room, in the case where the suit always is.

"Ugh, Peter!?!"

He left his suit behind...

Which means he's probably not planning on coming back...

"Oh, Peter..."

—-----------

Peter wakes slowly, eyes blinking open, wincing at the bright light. His spidey sense isn't blaring anymore the way it had been last night when he was too emotionally exhausted to even acknowledge it.

It now just buzzes, quietly, subtly in the back of his thoughts.

With a sigh he stretches and looks around, observing the alleyway he had taken refuge in last night. It's narrow and dirty, with cigarette butts and broken bottles littering the ground. He had sat down by a dumpster last night, he sees now and tiny squeaks inside alert him of rats. 

He stands up, trying to ignore the stiffness in his limbs. 'Curse spiders' inability to thermoregulate,' he thinks.

Shivering, he quickly puts his old onesie suit on, missing the heating function of his old one, and Karen's cheerful -yet somehow always sounding a bit concerned lately- voice.

With a thwip of his web he sticks his backpack high up on the wall, and with a small smile swings towards downtown Queens already hearing sirens in the distance.

—

As the sun sets, Peter finds himself sitting on the top of the building, gazing at his old apartment in the distance, nonchalantly swinging his feet hundreds of feet up in the air he feels himself start to drown in his grief again. It feels like something sticky in his soul. Gloopy and just such a mess that he doesn't know what to do with it or how to get rid of it. All he knows is that it's 

consuming his mind, slowly growing, and it hurts his heart and with every memory he thinks back of with Aunt May it just grows and grows.

His chest starts going tight as he remembers every bad thing he's ever said to her in his life, every snarky comment or the way he would rush past her quickly in the mornings so that he could get in some early patrol time as Spider-Man.

He should have been better.

He should have appreciated her while she was alive.

He should have been there, listening to her ramble as they walked to the subway together so that she could ride it to work. He should have walked with her, like he had before he started his internship with Mr. Stark.

And of course he doesn't blame Mr. Stark. It's Peter's fault after all. If he had been with her, maybe he could've saved her.

He should have been there to stop the car before it tore away his last living relative.

Before the metal hit flesh and officially left him alone in this world.

But after all, he had been with Uncle Ben and he couldn't save him.

Everyone around him dies.

He's just meant to be alone, saving the people of New York in the background.

 Honestly with how long he's known Ned, it's a miracle he's still alive. He thinks wryly, black dots starting to appear at the edge of his vision and he suddenly realizes he had stopped breathing at some point.

He tries to force a deep breath in, or any breath at all, but his chest feels too tight, and it's all his fault, and if he had just been there, then he could have..

Teasingly ducked away while she ruffled his hair, pretending he hated it, but secretly loving it

Feel her firm but gentle, warm, loving hug after he had a bad day at school.

Laugh at her latest failed cooking attempt

And smile at her one last time

And say larb you one more time

"I'd give anything to hear you say it back, Aunt May", he manages in between the sobs racking his body. He curls in around himself as the dam breaks open inside him. The gloopy, sticky mess digging its claws further into his soul.

He feels light headed and slowly his blurry view of New York starts coming up to meet him, and as he feels himself tip forward, vaguely aware of his spidey sense practically screaming in the background but somehow sounding slightly muffled, as if far away or he's hearing it under water; he wonders if his family will be happy to see him soon.

Then the sound of repulsors firing up comes from behind him just as he feels gravity take over and he feels himself

falling

falli

       n

          g

And then he stops... 

a/n: yes I know I said I would have this out like a week ago, but .... school. Anyways I'm posting part 3 after this cause I actually had time and motivation today to write/edit these ;)

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