Lost, Found, And Chosen.

Instant Heartbreak Pt.2

Me: I LOVE THEM. I want to stay with this person. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. Heart, why can't you just heal and let the brain move on, and brain why can't you just silence yourself, and let the heart move on. Why can't I be enough, and why won't water stop coming from you, eyes?

Eyes: This pain is causing me to bleed, swell and hurt. I wish I could heal, but we all need to work together to do this...

Heart: Can you tell me why you love this person? Is it just the thought of being with them, lust, or true genuine love?

Me: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW, THAT'S YOUR JOB!!!!

Heart: no, my job is to let you know you have feelings, and you're entitled to them for as long as you need. But only you know the EXTENT of the feelings I allow.

Brain: You like being around them. Liking/loving them makes you think you're a better person, when really it just makes you more positive for a moment. Caring for someone this intense is like a drug, good when you are there and you're doing it, but when you are away from it, there are withdrawal symptoms, pain and discomfort. You become worse than how you were prior to that. I understand that you can't change who you fall for, but you can decide not to care about that person more than yourself, especially when you knew deep down, they wouldn't care about you that way. You didn't tell that person for closure; you never needed it. You always knew what the response was. But you had to do it just to know there is no possibility. That isn't closure, that's false hope.

Me: I did it so I can know if there was any chance that that person could love me, or if that person felt the same.

Brain: Okay. If that is the case and be truthful because I know if you're lying, will this answer stop you from loving that person. Was it able to "close" off those feelings you have for them? Will it solve anything or make things worse, make you want to go back to a time where you were crawling for their scraps of love?

Me: No. it just makes me want to love them more and let them see all I'm willing to do to earn their love.

Brain: you can't change someone who doesn't feel it for you too. "We" isn't a word if the feeling isn't mutual between you.

Me: I understand, but heart, maybe you can show brain what I feel, and he will understand me.

Heart: everything the brain says is true. You're so clung onto this person you forget who you are and all you are without them. You're going to seek vengeance and be angry and hurt all at the same time because they didn't love you the way that you wanted them to. And it's not your job to be upset over things you can't change-

Me: BUT I CAN CHANGE IT! NOW THAT THEY KNOW I LOVE THEM, I CAN LOVE MORE AND THEY WILL EVENTUALLY FALL FOR ME!!

Brain & Heart: But they won't, and it'll hurt you again, just after the false hope healed us all. We'd rather you go through the pain of their rejection than heal and hurt over and over. You'll infect yourself.

Heart: Just feel through everything.

Brain: remember this and learn from it.

Eyes: I notice before the heart accepts it, and the brain learns, listen to me next time.