Hot Summer Nights

11

Chapter Eleven

Leah

My phone vibrates in my cupholder as I pull into Tessa's neighborhood. I don't have to look at the screen to guess who it is. Landon has been reaching out, trying to get me to talk to him. I still haven't responded.

It's for the best, really. I thought by now he'd give up and move on to his next conquest, but he's persistent. I've had to avoid group gatherings to keep some distance between the two of us. Seeing him in person... That would be difficult.

My head has been spinning since the friend-tervention Colin set up. They made me face things I wasn't ready to face. Their questions about how I feel about Landon weren't something I was ready to admit. Not to them, not to anyone. Least of all myself.

Why did it have to be him? Why couldn't I have entered into a friends-with-benefits situation with someone outside my core friend group? And most importantly, why did I have to go and catch feelings for Landon I-Don't-Do-Relationships Marks?

Fuck my life!

To sum it up, this really sucks. Avoiding him is hard. Ignoring his calls and texts makes my stomach ache. I could block his number, but what if there's an emergency and he needs to get ahold of me? What if one of our friends is in trouble and I'm the only one he can get ahold of?

See, I can't block him. It would be a safety issue.

And you still want him.

Damn it! I have to treat this like any other break up. If I start healing now, we can get back to just being friends that much sooner. That's in everyone's best interests.

Besides, it's not like his feelings are the same as mine. Dragging things out would only hurt worse later.

The sting of tears starts to prick my eyes at the reality. He doesn't feel what I feel. Landon Marks doesn't do relationships. He doesn't do girlfriends. Sure, he asked me to be his first, but it would never last. I just know it. And if I'd said yes, my feelings would have grown and I'd be in even worse shape when things ended later.

I have to protect myself. I have to protect my heart. No matter how badly this hurts.

As I pull into a parking spot, I see Tessa coming around the corner with a handful of envelopes. I take a deep breath and school my face before hopping out to greet her.

As soon as she sees me she waves, sending me a bright smile. "Hey, girl! Perfect timing."

I return her wave with a smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes. If she noticed my mood, she didn't comment on it.

We make small talk as we head to her apartment. She catches me up on work and how things are going now that Levi has moved in. I can see in her eyes that she's happier than ever. Her whole body seems to be glowing and her energy is warm and fuzzy.

I'm ecstatic for her, and only a little bit jealous. Okay... Maybe more than a little bit, but seeing her so happy in love gives me hope for the rest of us. Hopefully one day I'll find the person that makes me as radiantly joyful as Levi makes Tessa.

At least some of my friends can make it work. Someone deserves a happy ending.

We round the corner to Tessa's apartment and see Levi outside talking to a bubbly blonde. She's pretty in that girl-next-door way and she's chatting away animatedly with my best friend's boyfriend. Something he says makes her giggle and immediately my hackles raise.