Hot Summer Nights

15

Chapter Fifteen

Leah

Maybe we can go out sometime.

Those words were haunting me. Landon's words spoken to someone who wasn't me. And he said them right in front of me.

Was this my punishment for trying to protect my heart? Would I have to sit back and watch as Landon changed his playboy ways and started dating someone? And not just any someone- the freaking girl next door! Granted, she wasn't my next-door neighbor, but I spent enough time here for it to still count.

Fuck!

Go figure, Landon- who was Claire's type to a T- would show up, bump into her, and freaking fall head over ass for the bubbly blonde. Stupid Claire and her stupid perfect face!

Maybe we can go out sometime.

And fall in love and rub it in Leah's face every chance we get!

My thoughts were running rampant. And I get it, I did this to myself. I ended things with him, but I had good reason. Landon doesn't do serious, no matter how much he's convinced himself he does.

Unless Claire and her bubbly personality have swayed him into actually giving up bachelorhood for good. For her.

My head was starting to hurt and there was an uncomfortable ping in my chest. Landon walked right by me without a word, casting me a quick side-eye before he disappeared. Then I had to listen to Claire gush about how hot he is and how he gave her his number and wanted to see her sometime.

Just when I thought I could give the girl a chance. Now I have to put her back on the public enemies list. Right next to Landon and his stupid hot face. And abs. And di-

Nope. If I start down that road, I'll start thinking about how he and his magic dick are probably soon going to get acquainted with Claire and her probably perfect vagina.

I was sulking. Just because I ended things with him didn't mean I was ready to see him with anyone else. Especially honest-to-goodness sweetheart Claire who could probably turn a criminal into a church boy with her honeyed smiles and genuine nice girl thing she had going on.

Luckily, she had errands to run, so I didn't have to endure the next hour or two listening to her gush about Landon and the perfect date they were going to have. Tess and Levi exchanged several looks, communicating in that psychic way couples do when they're in synch with one another.

After that, Levi excused himself to grab dinner across town. It would be a while before he got back and I knew he was doing it so Tessa and I could talk. I wasn't exactly subtle with my fake smile and even more fake enthusiasm when Claire told us how excited she was about Landon. The tension in that hallway was real. And everyone could feel it. Everyone except Claire.

She's either incredibly unobservant or she was choosing to politely ignore my sudden frosty attitude as she told Tessa and me all about how she met Landon and had an incredible conversation. Gag me!

It was a miracle I plastered a fake smile on my face and didn't get whiplash from the dramatic eye roll I couldn't hold back.

Tessa nudged my foot as we sat on the floor of her living room, watching Grey's Anatomy reruns. "You're scowling," she told me when I looked up.

My cheeks puffed as I blew out a long breath. "Sorry, just can't get out of my head," I told her.

She bit her lip and eyed me before asking, "you wanna talk about it?"

I pursed my lips as I picked at the carpet. "I don't know what to say," I said with a shrug.

"He's moving on. Maybe I should too." My voice sounded significantly more confident than I felt.

I should have known better than to try and bullshit one of my best friends. "Leah! You can be honest with me. You were upset when you ended things with him, and it's okay to have regrets. It's okay to be sad or angry or whatever else you're feeling. Just don't bottle it up or try to deal with it on your own."

"Trust me... That never ends well," she added with a frown.

I let out a heavy sigh as my head fell back on the couch cushion. "Did I make a huge mistake?"

The question slipped out before I could stop it. Tessa was quiet for a long while. When she finally spoke, she watched my reaction with a sorrowful expression. "I can't answer that for you."

She grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. "But I think you may already know the answer."

I tried to swallow over the lump in my throat, but my mouth was bone dry. "I did the sensible thing. I did what I felt was smart, given his history..."

Tessa scooted closer to me, wrapping me up in her small arms, hugging me to her. "You know, doing the smart thing isn't always the right thing. You can't always trust your head when it comes to matters of the heart. People tend to get too into their minds when it comes to such things. That can really mess everything up."

She was speaking from experience. Both she and Levi almost missed out on an epic love story because they both got stuck in their heads a few summers back. Their hearts wanted one thing, but their heads kept getting in the way, making the situation a thousand times worse. Granted, it all could have been solved with a little communication, but-

The realization hit me like a freight train. Communication. It was something sorely lacking in the whatevership I had with Landon. We tended to communicate naked with our bodies doing the talking. It worked for a while. Then, things changed.

He had tried talking to me more than once, about things other than sex. He wanted to try new things with me- relationshipy things. He tried to communicate with me on more than one occasion, but I shut him down because I was scared. Because I had it in my head that I knew everything I needed to about him and who he was as a partner.

He tried. And I cut him off because I was afraid.

Shit.

I gasped, startling Tessa. When she looked up at me concerned, I stared back at her with watery eyes. "Tess. I think I fucked up."

And just like that, the dam broke. My tears started falling and I collapsed into the arms of my best friend. She held me tight, stroking my hair as I sobbed on her shoulder. "H-h-how do I fix it?"

A comforting embrace held me together as my heart and my body tried to fall apart. "We'll figure it out, Leah. There's got to be a way. It's not too late, I'm sure of it!"

I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. I just let myself fall apart at the realization that I'd royally fucked everything up. And now I was paying the consequences. As I sat there in my friend's arms, lamenting the heartbreak I'd brought on myself. I hoped with all my might that Tessa was right.

I hoped it wasn't too late.