Hot Summer Nights

14

Chapter Fourteen

Landon

I'd never been rejected before. Not even once. It was a new feeling. One I never worried about before, but that's exactly what happened. Leah rejected me. She wouldn't even give us a chance.

She made up her mind about me and won't give me the benefit of the doubt. I'm a flirt, I'll admit that, but I haven't seriously flirted with anyone but Leah since this whole thing started. From the beginning, she had always been enough for me. More than enough.

I guess she didn't feel the same. She only wanted me for one thing. And that sucks.

I guess it's true what they say, turnabout's fair play or whatever. I never really got that until now. That's because no one's ever rejected me. The few times I've rejected women were because they seemed to forget the one-night-only agreement I'd always put in place prior to going home with anyone.

The look in their eyes when I turned them away... Was that what I looked like now? I never gave it a second thought before now- how much rejection can hurt.

She asked me if I'd ever been in love. And I told her the truth- mostly. I'm not sure exactly what my feelings were for Leah before everything turned into a shitshow. I know they were strong and continuing to grow, but was it love? Hell, maybe I'll never know. But whatever it was between us was real, at least on my end.

It was real. And it was strong.

But now it's all over. And my chest fucking hurts. I want to vomit. I want to scream, to cry, to lose myself in a bottle. None of that will help. I know it, but I don't know what to do to numb this feeling. This burning, aching, cold inside me is something I never want to feel again.

I probably never will because she was the only one who ever got close enough to do this to me. She was the first girl I'd ever gotten close to. The only one I ever cared to get to know beyond skin deep. And now she's gone.

It's been weeks since it happened and I'm a mess. The guys have noticed something is up with me and the few times they've asked what's up, I've shut them down. I don't want to talk about it. I know I should, but it's too soon. Every thought of her ending things kills me.

It leads me down a dark rabbit hole which usually ends with me imagining her out there enjoying her time with someone else. Someone who's been in relationships before. Someone who knows what it's like to love someone and have their heart broken. Someone who isn't me.

So, I've been distracting myself. Throwing my energy into work and starting classes. It's the only thing that's helped so far. But when I'm not working or doing coursework, when I'm not hanging with the guys, my mind wanders straight to Leah. And more than once I've texted her, blindly hoping that she'll text me back or call to say she made a huge mistake.

It's a pipedream, I know. But the little bit of hope that it gives me is better than the pain of admitting the truth. She doesn't want me anymore.

I was sulking, letting those thoughts creep in when Levi called and asked me to hang out. I jumped at the opportunity to do something- anything- to get my mind off Leah. We were just getting back to his place after a long afternoon hanging with Jason and Micah. Tess was out so we decided to grab a few beers and kick back.

As he was unlocking the door, his neighbor came outside. I'd never seen her before- cute, petite, blonde, with blue-green eyes. She was attractive with a nice smile, which widened when she spotted me and Levi.