CHARLOTTE
I roll over and stare at Gray as he sleeps, intrigued by the tiny freckles that line his cheeks and the stubble growing along his chin. The stronger breeds are always near-perfect, their skin flawless and free of markings.
Gray fits that bill, only occasionally marred by a scar or spot. I like them, and I shift my gaze to the hole in his ear where he once wore an earring. It's hard to imagine him with one, and I wonder if I can convince him to put one of mine in when he wakes up.
His chest expands as he breathes, and I trace my finger down the bridge of his nose before leaning in and kissing his cheek. His skin feels like it's growing colder, making me worry about his current state of hunger. I know he was full after feeding on Aziel and me the other day, but that was almost a week ago.
He hasn't asked to touch me since the incident, but I can tell he's starting to feel the effects. My lips purse as I debate offering, but the memory of that female on him prevents me from doing so.
My bottom lip trembles, my feelings getting the best of me as I recall how it felt to see him with Shay. He's been genuine in his attempts to earn my forgiveness, apologizing thousands of times. He also hasn't let me out of his sight.
I must admit I appreciate it, my jealousy urging me to keep him close so he can't meander off to wherever it is he goes to during the day. It's not healthy, and Gray's been more than happy to whisper that gentle reminder when I get too clingy, but he still hardly seems upset by it.
Gray's arm snakes up the blanket and his fingers curl around my wrist, his touch gentle as he pulls my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles.
"Do you want to talk about last night?" he asks.
I shake my head, not wanting to think about it.
It's too embarrassing. I was so angry when I woke up, and I immediately turned and punched Gray's shoulder until he woke up, too. My voice was loud and shrill as I accused him of entering my dreams without permission, and Gray was so confused as he explained he wasn't anywhere near them.
"No," I say, rejecting his offer to speak about it.
I'd rather die than discuss my dream. I'm still in shock that my twisted, sick mind conjured up those intimate images of him and Aziel.
Gray sighs and props himself up on his elbows.
"You know there's nothing wrong with being attracted to us, right?" he whispers. "It's okay to fantasize about what happened last week."
I clench my jaw, not wanting to talk about this. Gray's being kind, but I'm still so mad and it's confusing. I want things to go back to the way they used to be. I wish the party had never happened so I could continue pretending I'm Gray's only female and Aziel doesn't have some weird crush on me.
Gray runs a soothing hand down my cheek before tucking my hair behind my ear. I lean into his touch, comforted.
"It's not okay." I choke back a cry. "We raped him."
I've been avoiding talking about what happened between the three of us, but the guilt is eating away at me. Aziel didn't want us to touch him, and he went as far as to hit Gray the first few times he tried.
Just because he gave in at the end doesn't mean it's okay, and I feel nothing less than complete shame over the part I played in it. I didn't think anything of it at first, but the more time that passes, the more I realize how terribly we acted.
Gray visibly hesitates as he watches me come apart, his mouth opening and closing as he searches for his following words.
"Charlie," he eventually says, his voice hard. "We did not rape him. Aziel is a strong demon. If he didn't want what was happening, he could have fought us all off or teleported away. This isn't the first time we've attempted to calm his wrath using my lust, and I can assure you from experience he has no issues disappearing if he gets bored with our antics."
