The Last Thing I Did

Chapter 4

It's been a few days since Benjamin arrived at Dakota's territory and he assigned him as the pack Alpha going against everything that Rea has said. He didn't like the feeling of 'betraying' Rea like that but his pack could really use a pack doctor like him. He eventually would tell her that he is in Varcolac but by the time he has the courage Rea will have figured it out. Every time he spent time with Rea he started to feel guilty for not telling her about Benjamin but he didn't want the disease coming back. Lately she hasn't really had time to hang out with him, she's constantly dealing with Alpha matters. It's kind of her way to cope with the death of her father.

"When is the last time you've slept", Daleyza asked Rea. She usually eats something fast and then immediately disappears into the office. "Sleep is not important right now", Rea said annoyed. "I need to make sure this territory keeps standing until a new Upper Alpha appears and hopefully that's going to be fast because I can't do this anymore", she said eating a sandwich so fast she almost chokes. Ever since Rea has become Upper Alpha things seem to be different between Daleyza and Rea. Her mother has finally stopped complaining about mother classes and is actually proud of her daughter for taking on such a role. For a moment Rea wanted to ask her mother how Shaddix managed all this but she then ignored the thought and went into the office to do paper work.

Once she was in the office she felt tears that had been building up for quite a few days rolling down her cheeks. She was exhausted and couldn't take any more of this role upon her. Making sure that every pack has everything it needs is hard, she always patrols along the border, keeps away rogues, fixes small problems within packs and that's all on her own. Shaddix used to have a Béta for these things but since Rea is a woman no one wants to help her. Even though every single pack in Varcolac is happy with how things are going with Rea they still don't like a woman in power. She wanted to talk to Dakota about it but just didn't find any time to.

If no one has gotten the Two Moon symbol by next week she will have to leave the Upper Alpha role and then the packs will need to tend for themselves until someone finally has gotten the symbol. It could take days, weeks, months or even years until then they follow the rules of another territory and if the packs don't get along then they'll have to fight it out.

"Just one month Rea", she told herself. "One month surviving this Hell and then you're free again."

......

For one day everything's been calm and that's when Rea finally got some time for herself. She needed to vent to Dakota, someone who would understand the struggles she's dealing with.

"Is it something important", Dakota asked confused coming into Rea's office. "It's not related to Upper Alpha matters", Rea made him clear. "I just need someone to talk to."
Dakota felt relieved that it wasn't anything important like the fact that Benjamin is his pack doctor now. "Being Upper Alpha is hard and a full time job especially with me being a woman and gaining no respect whatsoever. It's just getting too much for me to handle and I just wondered if you didn't wanna help out", she says then. "I understand with the sick people in your pack that it might not be possible." "I can help out for a few days if you want to. My Béta will take care of things", he answered and Rea sighed relieved. "I wish I had Shaddix by my side", she said then with a lump in her throat. Dakota laid his hand on her hand to comfort her and she felt a chill going throughout her body.

.....

It's been a couple of days since Dakota decided to help Rea and everything is going well. A lot of pressure has fallen from her shoulders and an interesting twist has made place: she started to catch feelings for him. She keeps telling herself that the feelings aren't real but even Dakota has started to notice and he loves to tease her.

"Today I have a meeting with Alpha Blake about some problems he's been experiencing so you'll need to divide the food over the packs. The soulmate of Alpha Greyson needed to speak about something so I trust you'll do that", Rea tells Dakota looking at a couple of letters she's gotten from other territories. "And maybe after that we could go out sometime", Dakota said then. Rea looked up from the letters to look him threatening in the eye before continuing reading. "I'm serious Rea", he said making clear that it's not teasing this time. "I'm not interested", she said denying her feelings. "Are you afraid of falling for me", he asked with a grin. She didn't answer the question and pretended to read another letter. He took the letter out of her hand and looked into her eyes. "So what will it be", he asked her. "I won't be heartbroken if you say no, I got plenty of other women waiting for me anyways", he said with a slight grin. "Then what are you waiting for", Rea asked him. "I've made myself clear many times before, so why try again?" That was not the answer Dakota was expecting.

Rea would come to regret what she said and for Dakota her words meant that he should move on. But we're not there yet.

.......

One month later

Rea looked at the symbol that had appeared on her neck. She didn't know what to feel, maybe happy because this would mean change in Varcolac or frustration because of how people will react or feel pressured because the job is too much to handle alone. She was already having trouble with the new transformation: from normal Werewolf to a Deadwolf just like her mom. The gift was too hard and difficult to handle and now being the official Upper Alpha is going to be too much for her. She also doesn't have Dakota to count on anymore, they haven't talked ever since their last conversation. Only her mother who has suddenly become supportive of Rea.

"Why are you doing this to me Deadlive", she asked as she sat down on the ground not having energy for anything anymore. "Your gift was easy to control but mine is hardly controllable and now being Upper Alpha on top of it...I can't handle this anymore.." She knew that her real mother wouldn't respond to her, she never does. There have been times she just wanted to give up on life but then a strong feeling of guilt fell over her. 'I should be grateful', she thought to herself. But how could you when you've been thrown into the world with a purpose but without support?

The emotions and thoughts from everyone around her are too overwhelming and she can't even handle her own emotions. The gift is taken away all of her energy which leaves no energy to be Upper Alpha. She feared that she was going to collapse from being too tired. At night she's always thinking about ways to keep the packs happy and safe. Recently Ross has been showing up on her territory so she needs to look out for him as well.

The question for now is: how long can a person keep working without sleep or energy?