I'll Never Tell

Chapter 1

I sat watching the rain pellets fall slowly down the car window. It's like they were racing, who would be the best, who would fall first. But that's just life, I guess, always a competition. I put my hand to the glass, and felt myself shiver under the cool touch. I wanted to be a rain pellet. I wanted to be anything other than who I was. The sky was dark. Thunder crackled and roared, making the car vibrate. Lightening slashed through the sky, like beams of sunlight that only lasted for a few seconds. The old lady music coming out of the speakers made me want to rip my hair out. I wanted to scream, but I held my tongue because that's what ladies do. Ladies are polite. At least, that's what my father tells me. I hum my song in my head. It was my song. It felt nice to have something that's mine, all mine. My mother gave me her song when she left, she told me to never forget. It was soft and sweet. My song was beautiful. My fingers ached to play the piano. I haven't in 6 years. Thunder crackled again and I jumped, my song vanishing. I swallowed and closed my eyes again, trying to pick up where I left off. I heard the cab driver laugh.

"Don't be scared." He gave me a smile through the parking windows. Yellow teeth looked back at me. Like canines. I did not smile back.

"I'm not afraid." I answered back coldly. "It just caught me off guard."

He chuckled. "My mistake." He said sarcastically.

It was silent for a couple of moments, then he decided to open his mouth again. "What are you humming?" He asked glancing at me again.

"My song." I was becoming annoyed, why couldn't he just leave me alone?

"What's your song called?" He smiled once again. It took all of my strength not to lose it. I knew better, knew that ladies don't lose control.

"It's called non of your fucking business." I spat at him.

He scoffed and shook his head. "I was just trying to make conversation." The rest of the ride was silent. The only sounds were the rain hitting the window and my soft low humming.

"We're here." He grumbled, parking the car in front of a two story house. He walked around to open my door, but I beat him to it. He shook his head and walked to the trunk and pulled out my bags. The rain had stopped, and the summer air had a sticky feeling to it. It smelt like grass and rain.

"Oh, you're here!" A womanly voice shouted. I turned and saw my Aunt Liz, who I haven't seen since I was 5, run down the stairs that led to her house. She gave me a tight hug, she smelt like flour and perfume. I didn't know a smell like that, the only smell I knew of was my father's musky sent that followed me everywhere.

"Um, hi." I said when she finally let go.

"Look at you!" She twirled me around. "You're so big now!" She gave me another hug. I was here, in California, to live with my Aunt Liz because my father wasn't "stable" but stable was an understatement.

"Yeah, people usually grow between ages 5-16." I tried to joke. Luckily she laughed.

"You've got your fathers humor." She said still looking me up and down. "God, you look just like him." She reached out and ran a hand through my long brunette hair. "Especially his eyes." She smiled looking into my deep crystal blue eyes. Feeling self conscious I looked down. She reached down into her pocket and pulled out a 100$ bill, and handed it to my cab driver. He took it and started getting into the cab, flashing me once last smile before he disappeared down the road.

"Come on," She said, grabbing my hand. "I want to show you around." She led me to the house, which was beyond beautiful. Aunt Liz lived in the upper class neighborhood. The house was gorgeous.

"Selena, my cook, was just finishing up lunch for us. Let me show you you're room then we can eat." I followed her up the stairs.

"Here we go." She smiled, opening the door to a big room. This sure does beat the one bedroom apartment I was forced to share with my father. I walked in, running my hand along the new furniture and bed that was already there.

"I hope you like purple." She said, running her hand along my purple comforter. "I remember when you were 5, you said it was your favorite color." I looked up at her and smiled.

"Thank you." I said. I sat down my suitcase and started to unzip it.

"Oh honey, don't worry about that now, we can do it after we eat."

The table was fancy. Instead of eating on paper plates like me and my father we ate with glass ones. On mine I had a salad with chicken and fruit. It was delicious, way better than the peanut butter sandwiches I had to eat everyday with stale bread. When we were done eating she gave me a slice of angel cake Selena had made. I got done and sat there waiting for her to dismiss me.

"So honey, how have you been?" She asked.

"I'm sure you know, my father is in jail, so other than that I'm okay." I said sarcastically.

She looked down at her hands and I was pretty sure she was about to cry. "I'm so sorry." She said looking back at me.

"I should have done something but, but I didn't, I didn't even-" She started crying.

I panicked, I didn't know what to do when people were crying around me. "Please don't cry, please." I reached over and grabbed her hand. Water filled eyes looked back at me. She sniffled and gained control.

"Of course, I'm sorry, if anyone should be crying it should be you." She wiped her eyes with the cloth napkin. I nodded feeling my pulse go back to normal. I hated seeing adults cry, hated it because I knew the pain that tears held. My mother cried all the time. Each time a more desperate cry. It scared me so much. I can still picture her crawled up in a ball on the couch, bawling her eyes out, me begging her to stop. It made my feel sick just thinking about it.

"Look at me." She said. "You're father is gone now, he can't hurt you or anybody else anymore." She rubbed my back, sensing my panic. I nodded, trying to keep it together, I refused to cry. I haven't cried since my mother left. Because ladies control their emotions. "May I be excused?" I asked. She nodded and started picking up the plates.

I walked up the stairs back to my new room and opened my suit case. I started folding hand hanging them up. I was almost done when I saw something out the corner of my eye. Panic filled me as I imagined my father I turned quickly and looked out my bay window. Outside, at my neighbors house I saw a figure gliding through the water. I sighed in relief, it was only someone jumping into the pool. I sat and watched for a while. His long perfect strokes, and his long perfect frame. After a while he got out and shook his head like a dog, water flying everywhere. His hair was wet, so I couldn't tell what it looked like. He seemed about 17. He turned and made eye contact right with me. My face burned red. He lifted his hand and waved. I opened my mouth slightly. The boy smirked and I pulled the blind down on my window. I started humming my song. After I got the courage to even get up, my aunt came into my room.

"It's late." She said sitting on my bed. I nodded.

"I was just about to go to bed." I said, feeling immediately stupid because clothes were laying all over the place. She then, was the one to nod.

She got up and walked over and gave me a kiss on my forehead

"Good night, Veronica."

"Good night." She walked out of my room, closing the door behind her. I finished putting all of my clothes away, and made my way to my new bed. It felt huge without my father next to me. It took me forever to fall asleep, every time I would dose off I would get a nightmare and wake up sweating. I hummed my song until finally I fell asleep, without a single dream.