I'll Never Tell

When I woke up the next morning all I felt was silence. A heavy feeling hung on my heart. My mind went slowly over to Noah, was he okay? Was he pissed? Has he spoken to his father? I was still thinking these things when I showered. I was still thinking these things when I got dressed. I was still thinking these things when I walked down the steps into the kitchen. Finally I told myself to stop wondering, and to go find out for myself.

"I'm going out Liz." I called grabbing a jacket.

"Yeah, yeah, you know the drill." She said with a smile in her voice as she sat watching the news. I smiled. I was finally beginning to feel like I belonged here. I walked over to Noah's house and stopped. I was a foot away from the door, but I couldnt bring myself to knock. What if he doesnt want to see me, what if he tells me to go away. I pushed these thoughts away and lightly tapped the door. A moment later Noah opened the door. What I saw scrared me. I had never seen Noah look this horrible. Heavy bags hung under his eyes like he didn't get any sleep, a baggy tshirt hung off his torso, a pair of swaet pants hung loosly around his hips, and he his hair, well his hair stil looked good. I looked at him for a moment, I felt a tug at my heart. The same tug I felt when my mom left. Like everything I had known was a lie. I wasn't the only one going through problems. I wasn't the only one who felt like the world was caving in on me. Noah standing here, I saw that he wasn't perfect, nobody is. Happiness is just a facade, but when we peel back the layers we see people for who they truly are, and thats pretty fucked up. Every single one of us. Seeing him like this hurt me. It hurt me so bad that my heart was aching. I knew what it felt like to be abandoned by a parent. I was abandoned by both.

I hugged him. I dont know why, i didnt do it, my heart did, my body did. I had no control, but as I had my arms around him, and he had one hand on my back and the other in my hair, his head leaning into my neck, and his hair brushed my face, i realized all i had ever wanted in life was a connection.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. That's when he did a guy move, he jerked away.

"It's whatever, if he wants to be a dick let him." He scoffed.

"You don't have to do that with me."

"It really fucking hurts." He then said, and I felt myself give out a small, sad smile.

"Do you wanna talk?" I asked.

"We don't have to."

"I think we do." I took his wrist and led him upstairs to his bedroom. I went here because, well, I just wanted to see what it looked like. I wanted to see where he slept, where he thought, where he lived. When I opened the door, it was pretty much what I expected. It was just a room, white walls, a navy blue comforter, a desk with a laptop along with some books, he had a couple novels by his bed, swimming trophys, pictures of him with Bryce, and Sam. His room was clean, but not overly clean, he had some clothes on the floor and empty gatorade bottles but thats about it.

"Not what you expected?" He chuckled.

"No, its... Exactly what I expected, I love it." My eyes kept moving towards his bed. How many girls were in here? To be more exact how many girls have been in his bed?

"You can sit, if you want." He said gesturing towards the bed.

"Thanks." I said as I sat down, It was soft, I could imagine my body sinking deep into it. No. Stop. I looked back at Noah. The usual sparkle he had behind his eyes were gone, now all they were, were bloodshot, and tired. He sat down next to me.

"He didn't come home last night." Noah said. Bastard.

"I'm sorry." I'm sorry? Really thats all I can say.

"My dad would leave a note, and not come home for a week." I reached over to him putting my hand on his knee.

"With a girl?"