for the faint of heart (tordtom)

23

"You know"
Julians voice was low as she gently placed little marks along Tom's face where the incisions were to be made.

The horrifyingly sterile environment of the operating room chilled everyone, mostly Tom.
"You might not wake up"

He couldn't see and dam thing as his visor had been taken away, but he could feel this malevolent energy flowing around the room.

Death was a potent taste on his tongue, a pungent odor in his nose, a sharp prickel across his skin, and a screeching sound in his ears.

It was close, either he would wake- or die.

"I know"
He hadn't spoken in so long that his lips almost didn't want to part, his prosthetic vocal chord twinged with pain as he did so.

"But I trust you'll have my affairs handled"
She held her hands up as the anesthesia was  about to be administered.

A little stuffed brown bear in his hand being squeezed so hard it looked like it was about to tear.

"You know I wouldn't let you down like that"

He could feel it, that sudden lightheaded itchy buzz.
He let out a deep breath as he slowly secumb to the medicine.

His anxiety climbing as he felt the darkness overcome his senses.

So many regrets in his life, he killed so many people, he hurt so many people because he was young and didn't know what the hell was really meant.

"Wake me with a banana strawberry puree, will you?"

He could hear her broken laugh as she tried her best to hide the fact she really didn't believe he would wake up, let alone handle a few minutes under these drugs.

"Sure thing"

It was the last thing he heard before he slipped into the unconscious dreamscape.

It was simply the sound of birds and some sun shimmering through the morning glaze.

Seeing without his visor...so odd, it was almost unnatural now.

Tord's sweet unscarred face was so beautiful as he slept.

He place a sweet kiss on his sleeping lips that sent a shiver through his entire body down to his toes which curled in excitement at being able to touch his love.

Tord's silvery brown eyes fluttered open and his rough hand grazed Tom's  neck.

They looked dark, sad almost

"It's been so long, it feels that way anyhow"
His morning voice, God he missed that cocky teenage voice.

"Yeah"
His voice was so filled with warmth and love, he almost couldn't believe it.

It was the peek moment in his life, the last memoire of him being genuinely Happy.

Really sober

Fresh on his residency, living on his own with Tord, the people who he wanted to know he was gay knew.
The people he didn't want to know didn't, his medication finally started working.
Tord got a good job as a bouncer for a casino, and he was thinking about going back to school as well as regularly attending therapy.

Life then was... Good?

If he could stay in that pocket of time for all of eternity he fucking would, in a heartbeat too.

God he missed Tord- well...

He missed the old Tord, as ashamed as he was to admit it.

It certainly didn't mean he didn't accept and love the current Tord.
It was just that, that Tord finally started accepting himself and it fucking showed in so many amazing ways.