go big or go home

punz

ᴛʀɪɢɢᴇʀ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇᴅ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ'ꜱ ɴᴏᴛᴇ

☆

punz makes his way further into the apartment, eyeing the beers on the coffee table. he really hopes that dream genuinely was leaving and didn't just go for him.

"so what's up?" sapnap asks from behind him after locking the apartment door. he makes his way up behind punz and gestures for the blond to take a seat on the couch, which he does. "beer?"

"oh uh, no thanks," he dismisses, waving a hand at the ravenette.

sapnap nods and settles back into the couch cushions with his eyes on punz, clearly waiting for the blond to explain his presence.

"i uhm- i broke up with foolish," punz says, finishing his sentence with a single, pointless nod.

sapnap's whole expression widens, his eyes blowing open and lips parting in an instant. dumbly, all he says is, "oh shit."

punz nods as if to confirm oh shit.

sapnap doesn't say anything else and neither does punz. the ravenette just stares at him with these horribly sympathetic eyes that actually make his entire body feel like it's collapsing in.

he told himself he'd be strong, be proud of his decision and keep his smile wide and real but sapnap's unwavering gaze makes that practically impossible.

he feels like he's being read like a book, as if sapnap can see each and every thought in the simple glimmer of his eye.

the glimmer that, as sapnap looks at him, only gets worse.

he feels the tears pooling up and he can't stop the way his lip begins to shake as his smile shatters.

the first tear down his face has him being tackled into the couch cushions and suffocated in an embrace. sapnap squeezes his arms around him so hard that he struggles to breathe a little but he doesn't mind it. he was up all night craving physical touch and he's more than relieved to finally have it.

"how are you feeling about it all?" sapnap asks, which is possibly a bad question when he's in tears, but punz thinks it's valid.

because he's not really that upset. he isn't as torn up as he could be. of course, he's sad, but there are so many other emotions mixing in that he is struggling to choose one to actually focus on. how can he pick just one emotion when he is overflowing with them?

"i don't know," he admits, hugging sapnap back. he's being positively smothered by the ravenette on top of him but he has no complaints. "like, i thought he was my forever but it felt like so much was wrong."

"so much was wrong," sapnap confirms. "i know you always said the sex didn't bother you but him only caring about himself should've been the first red flag."

"i just wanted him to be happy," punz responds because, even though they have broken up and he is starting to see how wrong certain parts of their dynamic were, he would still argue that their sex life was not a problem.

"yeah, but he should've wanted you to be happy too," sapnap mumbles, his voice sounding so close since he's right by punz's ear.