If I Knew Then

Chapter 15: Baby Judging

I loved all of Amelia's friends and their eagerness to help, but still, I couldn't help but count the seconds until I had more alone time with her alone. My eagerness was pathetic. My cheeks were tinted as Jaxson cackled at my actions, nonetheless I didn't move, nose nudged against my bedroom window as I waited for Mia to round the street corner.

      "Go away, Jaxson," I grumbled. "I'm sure you were even more pathetic than I am." From what I knew, Jaxson was in love with Lexi; his person was a romantic soulmate, which I could only imagine made his task that much messier. He could play cool all he wanted, I saw the fumbling, lovesick fool behind his bravado. Earlier that week, he walked into the fridge, reciting a piece Lexi had recently published.

      I heard his voice as he retorted but didn't comprehend a single word uttered, because I spotted Amelia and was rushing past him, down the stairs.

      I had a few seconds to catch my breath before the knock on the front door came. Hand on the doorknob, I counted to three before twisting it open. That greeting grin would never fail to make my day.

      The moment I stepped outside, Mia placed a baseball cap atop my head and then placed a matching one on her own. "To be more discrete," she said.

      "I really don't think they're going to have the effect you're looking for."

     "Oh, ye of little faith. You'll see."

      I took a few steps before voicing my apprehension. "Should I be worried that you're wanting us to be discrete?"

      "Do I look like an untrustworthy person?"

      I puckered my lips in playful consideration and Mia bumped her shoulder against mine in protest. "You do trust me," she decided. "But, in case you need more incentive..." She clicked on the calendar icon on her phone and tilted the screen my way. I slowed my steps, brows furrowed at the screen until I noticed the appointment set for next week. The relief that washed over me was indescribable. This was the first step of many, but she had taken the leap. There were so many emotions in my soft smile, I hoped she could decipher a few, especially of pride and relief.

      "You spoke to your parents?" I tried not to scare her away from the topic.

      Usually full of words, she only nodded. Worried settled in my gut, praying that I hadn't misjudged their supportive natures. "Did they take it well?"34

      She nodded again. "They think the appointment's a great idea... But I think they'll be upset when they realize the full extent of—things. I may have undermined the thoughts I've been having." She spoke as if she was afraid of disappointing me. As if I'd be disappointed in her for having such thoughts and failing to admit to their intensity.

     "It's a start, Mia. I think it shows tremendous courage on your part." Tremendous? I cringed. I was doing too much reading.

     She smirked. "I like it when you call me, Mia."

      I was too busy blushing to realize that she was changing the subject. There was no chance of recuperating the conversation when she turned my brain to mush.

      When the hospital came into view, I thought for sure we'd walk past it, towards the community garden. I was going to have to learn to expect the unexpected when it came to Amelia. Or expect the opposite of what my decisions or actions would look like. Amelia veered off into the hospital parking lot, towards the main entrance. Eyes drawing together, my lips parted to question her, but I decided it was best that I didn't know what she had planned. I couldn't imagine what I'd enjoy in a hospital. It was far from one of the first places I'd think of in search of happy moments. Though I knew many happy moments could be experienced there, such as someone overcoming whatever they were fighting or someone giving birth... Finding a way to watch a live birth seemed like such an Amelia thing to do that I was queasy in anticipation. As much as I could see the appeal in bearing witness to someone's first breath, I wouldn't be able to get past the bleeding, torn vagina part.