If I Knew Then

Chapter 7: Pep Talks and Unicorns

I abandoned my bag of clothes and collapsed on my bedroom floor in defeat. I threw my arm over my head and muscle by muscle willed my body to relax. I was getting in my head. I had no reason to believe the nagging voice of doubt in my head. Before I knew what was happening, someone slid on the floor and collapsed theatrically next to me. I didn't need to look to know that it was Jaxson.

      "What are we catastrophizing about?" he drawled.

      "My lacking social skills and uncanny ability to make everything go wrong."

     "Your social skills are not lacking."

     "You haven't seen me in public. I never know what to say. I don't know how to make people like me, to make friends."

     "Hello?" Jaxson said ridiculously, forcing my arm away from my eyes so I could look at him. He gestured toward himself. "I like you. I'm your friend."

     I huffed. "You're my guardian angel. You have to be my friend."

      "Again, not a guardian angel. And being your friend is not in my job description. I willingly like you."

      I crinkled my nose in disbelief, only to have it flicked by Jaxson.

      "Ow!" I complained, nudging him the ribs. He ignored my complaint.

      "Also, you've already made friends with Amelia's group. They wouldn't have invited you on the road trip otherwise, so quit psyching yourself out."

      I parted my lips to rebut but Jaxson was grinning at the doorway. I followed his gaze and found Aria in a blue princess dress.

      "Look!" She spun on her plastic shoes. "Leonard bought me a dress."

      Jaxson sat up. "Wow!" He pulled her forward, taking her hand to guide her into another twirl. "Does the princess come with magic?"

      Aria giggled and nodded.

      "Can you share some with Addie? She's worried about making friends."

      Damn him. He was going to use the child against me. Again. I was tempted to close my eyes to avoid innocent blue ones. Unfortunately, the blonde was already studying me curiously. Resolution marking her features, she knelt beside me and took my face between her hands.

     "You don't need magic for that," she decided. "You just have to be yourself."

     My guardian angel was cruel. Words tugging on my heart strings, I smiled for Aria's sake. "Thank you... But I don't think being myself is going to help Amelia the way she needs to be helped."

      Aria studied me again before saying, "This sounds like an adult conversation," and walking out of the door.

      "See?" I pouted while Jaxson cackled. "I scared her off."

      Jaxson groaned. "Not to invalidate your feelings but you're being stupid."

      "That's a perfect example of invalidating feelings."

      He nudged me playfully. "I know this is nerve racking and though I know that you have nothing to worry about, I'm sympathetic to the fact that you don't feel that way. But I'm starting to feel useless because I don't know how to make you feel better. I can't fight invisible monsters."

      That was the thing with invisible monsters. As much as we try, we can't fight someone else's invisible monsters. All we can do is give them the tools to win their battle.

      "Just like I don't know how to make Amelia feel better." Before Jaxson could interrupt with another pep talk, I went on. "This isn't a plausible task."