Shoots and Ladders

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Am I supposed to be this quiet
Or am I loudest in the silence?

I don't know what to think or believe,
I'm losing me.

I wouldn't want to let you down,
I wouldn't want to put it out,

But I'm tried and in the fire of running in circles
Tossing and jumping through hurdles

But I just can't do this anymore,
It's better to say it doesn't hurt as much anymore.

I don't know what you want me to be,
Who you wish to see,

What you want me to know what you think,
Try and help me.

Drinking from the cups of self righteousness
But we're losing our self consciousness.

I've jumped through hoops and fell down your rabbit holes
Just to realize you were the one who needed to try the most.

It's just best to let you go
Even though you should know

I still want the best for you,
But while I was trying to change myself for you I was violating myself, too.

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