Clouded Alignment (NB)✔️

19. That's So...

[TW: Mentions of sexual assault]
Maya's POV

After helping avery with their math homework, they switch to taking pictures of me with their camera since they just came from class to see me.

"Now turn," they instruct me and I do, popping my ass out a bit so they can see it.  "Daaaamnn!" Avery exaggerates and I immediately turn around.

"Okay shut up stupid." I blush and push their camera way.

"I didn't take any, I was just admiring." they wiggle their eyebrows at me, biting their bottom lip. I roll my eyes but Avery stops me from turning around again by grabbing my hips. "That's enough pictures for now, give me a kiss." they mumble, leaning closer.

"Okay.." I nod and tilt my head up to kiss their lips. Soon enough, we're laying down with them on top of me, deeply kissing me once more. I just grip their back and the nape of their neck, pulling them closer.

"You're so pretty..." Avery mumbles once again.

"You too," I mumble back, slightly starting to roll over to take the lead.

I kiss their neck a bit, feeling my hands up their arms and rubbing their neck and shoulders. Slowly, I trail my hands down their chest, past their breasts to their stomach with breathy moans. I kiss their lips once again.

Their hands tense by my shoulder and stomach but I don't realize fast enough because they respond to my kiss eagerly. I slide my hand under the edge of their shirt in hopes of laying my hand on their bare hip as we kiss but Avery pushes me off with a lot of strength and pulls away from the kiss very fast, sitting up and wrapping their arms around their torso.

"Ow shit. Sorry!" I back up immediately but my shoulder and stomach hurts from how hard they pushed me. I didn't ask if that was okay, that was bad of me. "I went too far." I continue to apologize, keeping the space between us. Avery just nods but doesn't look at me, breathing heavily. After a minute, Avery is still breathing heavily and I start to get worried.

"Are you okay?" I ask them.

"Yeah," they glance at me and nod very fast. Avery closes their eyes and starts shaking their head just as fast as they were nodding before. "I'm okay. I'm fine." they start rocking, pulling their legs up to their chest.

"Ave?" I carefully come closer, careful not to touch them. "What's wrong?"

"No!" they lay their chin on their knees, still slightly shaking their head.

"Avery baby, please tell me what's wrong." I put the back of my hand on one of their cheeks, trying to make them look at me. Every time things get too hot when we're making out with me on top, they start freaking out, breathing heavily and pulling away even if I didn't touch them like I did now. It's rare that they can get close to being intimate with me without abruptly turning away, sometimes on the verge of tears. I've brought it up before but they always brush it off. "Am I doing something wrong?" I choke up and drop my hand after they open their eyes, looking past me at the wall.

"No." They frown but they won't look at me so I don't believe them.

"If everytime we kiss it bothers you, maybe it's me that's the problem." I frown as I start to feel a little emotional. It's probably not even anything about drive anymore. They just don't like me like that and really don't want to be with me in that way. I clear my throat.

"Maybe you need space from me since you don't like when I touch you..." after a few seconds Avery doesn't say anything so I take it as an answer. I slowly get out of their bed, walking towards my bag by the door. I don't want to go but Avery doesn't seem to want me here right now.