𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞 / 𝐈𝐈𝐈.

09.

the lone ranger

"Jasper?" I speak up as he walks near where I sit, away from the rest of the Cullens as they finish training for the day.

"Yes, ma'am?" I cringe at his choice of words, knowing he was staying cautious and curt towards me. Not wanting another mistake to occur.

"Thank you for coming back and helping us with this. It means a lot to me, and I know Alice is grateful to have you back." My friend's mood had changed drastically, back to her normal perky attitude once Jasper had returned to Forks. She seemed to do what I couldn't with Edward, ignoring that he left and falling head over heels again.

"Least I could do for you, after all the trouble I've caused y'all." He admits, his southern accent thick with each statement. I wonder if he'd spent some time back where he'd come from, remembering Edward mentioned before that he'd been from south of the Mason-Dixon Line. "Allows me to use my knowledge to help, rather than harm."

"Your knowledge, you've seen this before?" I ask, watching him nod in response. Jasper's amber eyes are distant, glassy as if he's remembering the past, his past.

"You see, I was born in Texas back in 1842, and around the time I reached manhood, the Civil War was gaining traction. Because I knew the land, I was recruited by a friend of my father's who was a Major for the Union Army as a scout. He knew my family was against the war, and knew that my father preached to his congregation about peace and turning the other cheek, so I was the perfect man for the job. I was glad to help the Union, proud to serve my country, and made my parents sleep well as I was never required to pick up a musket 'cept for show." Jasper tells me, recalling his past and the life he had before.

"Then one night, when I was riding back to the camp to give them the information I'd found out, I came across what I thought to be three lost women in need of help. That night changed forever, I'd fallen into a vampire named Maria's trap, she saw a brave man, someone who was good at his job, and knew she needed him. You see, while the humans fought their war, another one had been going on for centuries longer, in the South vampires were constantly fighting over hunting grounds. And Maria? She was one of the strongest and saw that I was a needed asset to expand her control and strengthen her. Together, we mastered the ability to create newborn vampires, and with my gift, I was able to destroy them without a fight back."

"The power she offered, the frenzy of human blood in my system clouded my vision. I forgot about who I once was, the son I'd been raised to be had met a fate crueler than death. I was a blood-feasting monster who'd lost all sense of humanity, I used my gift to bend others to my will. It was the worst thing I've ever experienced. One day, I came to realize that, I was supposed to be killing the old batch of newborns, but there was one who was just a kid, and I didn't have it in me anymore to continue like that. So I fled from Maria."

"For what seemed like an eternal hell, I wandered the desert. Only hunting when it seemed I was reaching my end, wishing I could bury myself alive. And then I met Alice on the edge of the desert she'd come to find me, offering a new life, a second chance I didn't deserve." He looks over to where Alice and Esme stand and talk, she turns to look at him, offering a small smile before looking back. "A chance I will never deserve."

"She's already forgiven you, you know that?" I comment, my mind taking its time to comprehend and understand all he's told me. The painful and bloody past he's lived through and constantly trying to reprimand.

"The same way you forgave Edward?" He asks obliviously and sincerely. I know he doesn't quite understand the weight of his words, or how my blood seems to go cold in my veins at his question. Alice and I's situation was different, though it seemed the same to those on the outside. I can understand how Jasper might mistakenly think our forgiveness was the same.

"Sure." I try not to wince at the lie, I force myself to swallow and not look over at Edward. "Like Edward and I."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Sitting in the front seat of the Maserati, I flip through the CD holder, trying to ignore the uncomfortable silence as Edward climbs back into the car, ready to drive me home. I take the silver CD out of the case, insert it into the drive, and let The Bends and its songs fill the interior of the car. He sighs beside me, not-so-secretly despising the album I've chosen but doesn't object to it, knowing I enjoyed the music.

His fingers drum against the steering wheel in tune with the music, and I realize that for once, Edward Cullen is driving at a normal speed. Abiding by the laws of the road to drag out the time spent with me.

"Are you alright?" Edward finally speaks, sucking in as we drive through the small downtown of Forks. I turn my focus outside, watching the few people who walk down the sidewalks, shopping and talking. My mind wanders to the cooler season of winter, how they decorated the Main Street and as a child, it was the closest thing to magic I thought I'd ever see. Now, I've been plunged into supernatural horrors, things that should've stayed in books or movies, not engulfing my life.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind." I deflect the question, giving him a blanket statement. There is a lot on my mind, so much so, that it feels like my brain is about to burst at the seams. But it's more than I can say to him, it's too dangerous to even think about admitting the truth to him.

"We're going to deal with Victoria this time, I'm not going to let her slip away and I won't let her hurt you." He assures me, placing a cool hand on my thigh. I try not to shiver or react in a way that might alert him to my indifference, I fight to keep my thoughts collected and covered so Edward can't hear the truth. Victoria is the least of my worries, I'm not scared of what she might try to do to me. I'm scared of what I'm doing to myself.

"Yeah." We turn onto my street and he parks behind the Bronco. Edward puts the car into park before leaning across the console, putting a hand on my cheek and kissing me. I try to allow myself to enjoy the kiss, try to tell myself that being with him is right, but I feel suffocated. My lungs are empty, my throat tightens as I push away from him, fighting back hot tears.

"What?" The concern that laces his voice yanks at my heartstrings, almost snapping me in two right here in his car. But I must hold it together, I can't let him see the truth.

"I need to be getting ready for work, my shift is starting soon. Sorry." I choke out, opening the door of his car and practically stumbling out trying to get away from him. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow." The door loudly bangs shut as I close it, I wince at the noise and the forcefulness. Hurrying up the path, I try not to turn back and look at Edward and the hurt that paints his face.

Sana's Note
If y'all thought I was going to let Jasper be a confederate soldier you thought wrong. I was not going to write that shit. And I feel like this is a better backstory anyway.