my oh my, why oh why

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"ive fucking told you theo, get your shit together" "or what mattheo?" "or i fucking will" and here i am standing right behind them, without them knowing im even here. "and so what mattheo?" "your fucking loss, thats the best damn girl i know. and if you liked her as much as i do, you would fucking show it like i do. your the only one who could. we fucking agreed on it. or do you not remember?" "i fucking remember" "then fucking act like it" they are talking about me. im sure ive stirred things up, but i didnt think this reaction would happen. "jeez fuck dude, fucking grow a pair sometime" and just when it couldnt get worse they are now staring at me. smile and wave, gets you out of trouble. "i think im just gonna go to class" "Fat chance y/n. we all have a certain lecture to get through" "yeah some dumbass sucked ass and now they wanna make sure the rest of us dont slack" and now i have a personal escort, two escorts actually. way to really make everyone stare at me and or run away. "so what is going on" "well from the names on the board we all have a class to attend to" "someone didnt pay attention and now we are stuck learning it again" it still sounds like they are fighting with each other. we walked up to the list. "here i am" i spoke. "your with ron, harry, hermione, draco, me, and theo" mattheo spoke he flashed a smile at me. "but whats it for" "someone got fucked by a boggart" theo spoke. he seemed cold. "you know theo you can leave anytime. i know you have more important things to do" i followed up. "apparently not" he shot a look at mattheo only for mattheo to return the favor. "im gonna be late" i spoke walking off. 

"the spell is Riddikulus, this was taught recently, but it appears people dont know" i remember this, draco was making fun of this spell. soon enough mattheo was filed next to me, soon joined draco and theo. harry standing in front of me. "hey y/n" i looked at my brother. "i think id opt out if i was you" "im sure ill be okay" "you freeze" "im fine" its common that harrys fear was a dementor. it was easy to tell he was skipping over people and choosing others.  ron was chosen and it was a giant spider. he didnt look to happy, but it seemed almost easy for him. Hermione was her failure, which didnt seem to terrible. i watched as he was thinking about sending harry up. and to my not so shocking knowledge he did. "a dementor" "thats crazy" the murmurs were out of hand. everyone talking. he seemed to struggle a lot more then the few who had gone before him. i knew more about harry then i would ever let anyone know. i watched as the professor had skipped right over draco. skipping right over mattheo. skipped right over theo. and his eyes are on me. "y/n?" "sir" and now all eyes are on harry. "yes mr.potter" "i strongly suggest that y/n opt out" "doesnt that give me more of a reason to have her come up" "well sir-." and just like that he cut off harry. "i think y/n would be perfect for this lesson, if you think she should opt out" "its just that" "mr.potter, i have respect for you. this is a controlled environment, i can assure you it will be okay" "but" "no buts mr.potter, if you feel better standing next to miss y/n then so be, but she will be up" and here i was walking to the front. standing there watching the closet open. thunder and lighting are the first to come out, light stuff. but there in front of me a carbon copy of myself. even harry was a little confused at first. until it clicked for him. everyone else around was just as shocked. it wasnt bad we were just staring at each other. "you do realize that you spend your life in fear right?" it spoke. i didnt even know they could speak. "you've fucked yourself y/n, really let yourself go. still not eating? still thinking you'll get fat if you eat? still clawing yourself? still worrying about everyone?" i just stared. "your not scared are you? does harry know? does harry even care? you know what im talking about" "i fear i dont" "the reason you wear long sleeve? the reason you skipped so many meals? it wasnt bad behavior" "what is it talking about y/n" i looked at harry. "allow me to explain" i watched it roll up its sleeves. "these arent self harm my dearest harry, our dear y/n has scratched herself till she bled, skipped eating until she became faint. shes clawed at her skin, developed a eating disorder, killed the parts of herself she hated and the parts she liked. for what y/n? a pretty penny and some cheap love? you like attention, you hate being alone, your scared of the dark and storms, your scared of yourself, your scared your gonna get dropped off and never loved again" i listened to everything and took a seat on the floor. "and yet your so scared to be a shadow, you wanna be on top of the world, and your sitting on the floor" "riddikulus" i spoke flicking my wand. and right in front of me it vanished. i sat on the floor because i felt like i was gonna pass out from my heart beating so fast. and when i stood up again i felt all the blood rush to my head. pretty shitty situation. "i must apologize to everyone here, we will further dismiss" and with that harry was dragging me out. "what the hell y/n" "shes a liar" "your my sister i know you" "i froze i didnt know what to do" he sighed. he wanted me to keep this just as much as i intended to.

i full on believe because of that the boys started acting nicer. although they did check every single minute of the night to see if i was scratching myself. most of it was out of stress i have to say. but they would get really upset if i even itched my arm. i cant even mention the food shoved down my throat.




(a/n: sorry this sucks so much ass cheeks. ily :) dont forget that.)

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