Forever Young (One Direction Fanfic)

Chapter 10

I do not want to have to face a raging Harry. After what I did. Kissing John, I completely went behind his back and betrayed him. I told him I was sorry, but I don't think that is enough. He was mad enough to slap me and I think that I deserve to be slapped.

I lay here in the hospetal bed on my birthday with tears streaming down my face. No one but the doctors have come to vist me. Not one of the boys have come in. I don't know if it's because the doctors won't let them in or if the boys are so disgusted with me that they just can't bare to look at me. I wouldn't hold it against them if that was the case.

I curl into a ball and cry. Harry didn't deserve to see that. Harry doesn't deserve me. He deserves someone better. I hold the unopened gift that he gave me in my arms. I am afraid to open it, because I don't want anything to remind me of him even though he is the only thing that is running through my mind.

Why did John have to kiss me? Was it just his plan to kiss me to make Harry upset? Why didn't I stop him? Why did I ever even go out onto the balcony?

So meny questions run through my mind as I sit and cry. So meny things that never should have happened. I wouldn't be surprised if Liam sent me back to the U.S. because he doesn't want me around anymore. Why am I even here on this earth still? Both my mom and my dad are dead. Why am I not?

What is life anymore? It's nothing without Harry. He gave me so much and look how I repayed him. I look down at the gift in my arms. I carefully unwrap the paper. I find the exact same picture that Harry had in my dream from the other night. It is in a silver frame and at the bottom it says, "I love you."

This only makes me cry harder. I hold the picture against me. I finger Harry's figure.

"I'm so sorry Harry. I never ment to hurt you. I just want you to forgive me, but I know that will never happen. I realize that I love you so much more then I thought. You never should have fallen for me. I never should have fallen for you. I'm a heart breaker. People hate me." I sob.

I just lay there and cry myself to sleep.

* * *

It's been three days since the boys picked me up from the hospital. It seems like everyone has been ignoreing me. They never came to vist me while I was there. Liam just came into the room and told me that it was time to leave. I remember slowly following him out of the hospital and getting in to the van. It was just me and him. He didn't say a word to me the entire ride to Harry's flat. I held the picture of Harry close to me. When we got there, I just ran to my room. I ran past the rest of the boys who were sitting in the living room. I jump on to my bed that I had never sleept in before. I crawled under the covers and there I have been for the last three days.

I haven't gotten up to eat. I have only gotten up to use the bathroom and that's it. I have layed there and cried and sleept and dreamt about Harry. I have had mostly nightmares about him.

I woke up screaming last night and not one person came to comfert me. I miss Harry's warm embrace and his strong arms.

I listen to the boys in the living room laughng. I really want to join them, but I guess they don't want me to be around.

"I really think someone needs to go in there and talk to her. She hasn't come out in days. I'm sure she is starveing!" I hear Niall exclaim.

All the laughing stops and there is nothing but silence.

"Fine. I'll just go in there then." Niall huffs.

Soon there is a knock on my door.

"Ella can I come in?" Niall asks gently.