Beneath The Surface

Act 17 - I won't be like Kali!

Normal text
Thinking
Onomatopoeia

Astaroth's POV
While stumbling towards her dorm room, Astaroth's mental state was in complete shambles. She didn't know what she wanted from that traitor. She just knew that she herself was utterly lost. Confused. An inexplicable sense of gloom overwhelmed her mind. The corners of her eyes were starting to get sore, as if salty liquid was about to fall out anytime soon. This was what normal functioning humans did whenever they're upset-cry. Astaroth had long lost this emotion in her early years. She doesn't cry. Neither does she mope about like this. If being depressed could solve everything, she would have gladly squeezed out buckets of shimmering pearls until she went blind. But it can't. It would only ever be an appalling psychological reaction for people to cope with uselessness. She'd rather spend the time sharpening her blade than helplessly bawl her eyes out for problems to disappear. Astaroth breathed in sharply, blinking her eyes excessively to stop the tear-jerking performance. No one's here to watch it, so there's no point in acting by herself.

Somehow, amidst the fog of chaotic thoughts, she managed to stagger her way to the right room. Knowing Evelynn's most likely on the other side of this door, Astaroth quickly fixed her ghastly expression before entering. Her plan was to ignore the succubus's existence and take a nap. A little pause in this hectic period would help subside her confusion. But, fat chance, that woman's going to play according to the script.

The moment Astaroth stepped foot through the door, a sirenlike voice laced with a hint of playfulness, sounded, "It's just a little learning journey. Why did you come back looking like your entire family has been slaughtered?"

Astaroth's footsteps faltered and she froze at the doorway. The blood-curdling cries of her goddess echoed loudly in her head. How her melodic voice was dripping with agony when those bastards gouged her mana core out. She was fully awake throughout the entire process. Astaroth might be numb to the sensation called pain, but Sister Luna wasn't. She's a healthy being who could still feel emotions. Astaroth read enough books to know what mana cores meant to vastayas. It's as good as digging out her heart while she's still alive.

It might be her hallucination, but Astaroth could have sworn this air-conditioned room was now clogged up with thick smoke. The smell of burning wood. Like the ones that night. The bloody memory of ignited walls replayed in her mind. How it slowly enclosed around her, threatening to torch her down with the rest of the building. The ragged breathing of her dying sister still remained raw in her memory till this very day. The scene where she bled to death while simultaneously suffocating from the fire that Astaroth had personally started.

"You're just an ungrateful jinx! One that causes suffering to everyone!"

Thump. Thump. Thump.

She slowly looked down at her hands. Astaroth could still vividly remember that nightmare. There's so much blood. It was practically gushing out of her goddess's stomach. She frantically wiped her clammy palms against her pants. But no matter how hard she rubbed, the crimson stains wouldn't disappear. It's permanently seared into every fibre of her flesh. As a reminder of how useless she was at the time when her sister really needed her. The room temperature instantly became chilling to the bone. Astaroth's hands quivered uncontrollably. She didn't feel safe here. This wasn't her territory. It's a lion's den.

No! I didn't kill her! I didn't!

Her irritation flared up again and before she knew it, Astaroth lost her composure, "Shut up! It's not me!"

It's that Noxian fucker! It's not me!

Her parents were obviously wrong! She didn't kill her goddess! How dare they suggest such blasphemous things! The fire didn't kill her! It's the bloody hole in her stomach! She bled to death! So it's not her fault! It's the Grays' spawn! It's him! He's the jinx! Not her! She didn't do anything wrong! In fact, her flames were the ones that purged all the other heretics! Cleansed their fucking souls! Send them to meet her sister so that she wouldn't be alone in the afterlife.