Beneath The Surface

Climax 51 - I like her

Normal text
Thinking
Onomatopoeia

Kaisa's POV
"AHHH!"

Blood pounded in my ears. However, it wasn't enough to drown out that heartbreaking cry. In the time I've known Asta, I've never actually heard her scream from pain. As far as I'm concerned, her absurd tolerance level usually allows her to grin away like a madman. So now that I saw her whimpering pitifully for the first time, I had to fight back the urge to fuss over her.

No. Now's not the time to be weak-hearted! She's not someone I can show kindness to. She's an enemy! The murderer I need to kill! I still have to avenge everyone! Lucius. Helen. Kai... Mom... Especially Mom... She was innocent... She didn't harm anyone. She didn't hurt Asta... And yet, why was she the one to bear the brunt of her wrath? Why was she the one to die in such a gruesome way... Crushed beneath tons of boulders... It's not fair! She didn't deserve it! They didn't deserve to suffer like this! What did she do wrong to have such a tragic fate... Why couldn't Asta just vent her anger out on me alone... Why did she have to take away Mom...

"Kaisa, listen to me! We WILL make it out alive."

I could still remember Mom's strained voice. I might have forgotten the warmth of her hands, but her voice had never once left my memory. It's as clear as day. Her words of encouragement. Ones that had persistently kept my despondent soul afloat. She was my beacon of hope during the hellish weeks trapped beneath Shurima. Her wishes were the only thing pushing me forward in the endless darkness. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just keel over and die. Not when she wanted me to live. No matter what, even if I had to drown in the sea of self-hatred and devastation, I needed to survive. To see the light of day outside the pitch-black fissure. Because I can't let that bastard who had doomed us all get away scot-free. I had to see the end of his life with my own bloody eyes.

"Just... wanted to hug you... I haven't done this in a... long time... I want to do it now..."

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Just like Kai, Mom often dreamt about visiting the vast ocean. Even hoping that I could scatter her ashes into the sea if I ever made it out. That's her biggest wish—to not die in the harsh desert wasteland. But the worthless me couldn't do anything right. I couldn't even bring her body out. It would forever be buried beneath the sand dunes where monsters prowl. The one thing that had haunted me for as long as I could remember. And it had remained like this for who knows how long. Being trapped in the whirlpool of regret and self-loathing. Until I met the strange existence that was Asta. The lunatic who somehow became my new ray of hope. Which was inexplicable to say the least. That position had remained vacant for many years. And I thought it would stay like this forever. Nothing could ever take the place Mom had occupied in my heart. Yet, it was undoubtedly replaced by that psychotic girl. She's the one that touched my long-dead heart. The god who reached out her hand to me in the suffocating darkness. So why... Why did she have to be the one to crush my hope... Why did she have to hurt me like this... What did I do wrong...

"Asta!" Ahri surged forward.

"DON'T COME HERE!"

The panic and confusion in her eyes... They're like that of a wounded animal. She's terrified. Scared. To see the usual confident girl crumble to such a pitiful state... It made my heart bleed. I desperately wanted to hug her. Console her. Just as she had done for me during my darkest times. Which only made me hate myself even more. I was obviously being played by that sly bastard. Everything she did to make my heart flutter... They're all lies! Illusions to keep me under her thumb! She never meant any of her words! I was nothing to her! In her eyes, I'd always be the gullible chess piece that could be easily manipulated. Nothing more. Nothing less... And the fact that coming to terms with this truth hurts so much... I hate it. I hate it so much... Why am I so pathetic...