Truest Moments

Moments 7

"So you kept this from me for three weeks, almost a month?" I asked.

Ryan just nodded his head, looking down.

"So you were willing to not tell me and have a baby on our relationship. Now, you're looking down because you know you're in the wrong. I thought we were going to be honest when we became something. But I guess it was all sex, right? Well, for me it was more than sex. You told me that bullshit. We have a connection, where was the connection when you made the decision to not let me know if you were going to see her? Since you can't speak, I won't speak about what I'm going to do next."

"Don't leave!" Ryan called, "I want you only, and I just didn't know how to tell you."

"And this was the best way for me to find out is this way?" I asked, angrily.

"Look, I know-," I interrupted him.

"You know what? You don't know shit!"

"I know I want you only!"

I don't even respond anymore I just run down the stairs. I almost run into a woman with light brown curly hair, sun-kissed brown skin, green eyes, and a friendly smile.

"Hi," She greets me with her soft island accent, stops me dead in my tracks, "What were you doing upstairs? Aren't you Pammy's little girl? Okay, you're...You're the girl my son's been talking about almost every day I'm home. Hi, my name is Leila. I'm Ryan's mother."

"I'm not the girl your son has been talking about," I walked out of his house and never look back.

***

I stayed home today, cleaned up for mom's impending arrival tomorrow, and cried so hard. My phone still buzzed uncontrollably. I had just got done washing the dishes and cleaning the counter tops. I heard a knock.

I went to the door to see it was Ryan; I just walked away and went back to cleaning. When I tell you I don't have time for his bullshit. I cried all night, the only time I ever felt this much sadness was when my father died. I never wanted to feel this ever again, I just feel like my veins were popped and I was having blood clot because the excruciating pain.

Once, I was done cleaning the second story I went upstairs to my room to take a two hour break. I collapsed on my bed and stared at the ceiling; I turned my body only to see Ryan next to me.

I almost scream, until Ryan muffled my mouth with a hungry kiss. I tried to push him away, but his hold around my body was strong. Eventually, I gave into the kiss. We made out for two minutes before he took off both of our cloths; I felt his boner against my stomach. He then aligned his dick at my entrance and pushed in.

***

I can't believe I just had sex with again; right after we orgasm I cried so hard. Ryan tried to comfort me and I shoved his hands away. I made him leave, I just couldn't have him acting one way with me then being another way. Plus, I'm ashamed to say that I'm weak when it comes down to the effects of having sex. Not even understanding that the sex was more for me and less for him. It was never mutual only one-sided as I always knew it would be. I just that wanted him so bad and I let him. Only, to have Ryan betray my trust in the most classical way.

I loved him, but I can't be a fool. In this moment, I knew this was only the beginning of the real pain I would truly feel.

***

November 21, 2014 2:00pm

I still couldn't bring myself forth to attend school, so I cleaned the house more. I was a complete mess I hadn't taken a shower and I smelled like musty pine-sol.