𝐌𝐘
Long, straight blonde hair, greyish blue eyes..a ghoul you were meant to meet. A little ghoul with anger issues.
𝑭𝑰𝑹𝑬,
You found yourself walking on the foggy streets, no where to go. You had no friends to contact, and no family member. You...
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1ST PERSON POV
I turn the shower on, its coldness turning to warm as the water drips on my body.
It stings. It really stings. My unhealed scars i recently did were unforgettable as i feel it every time i take a shower. I try healing by myself. I wiped my own blood and tears knowing that no one is there to comfort me but myself.
Living in the ministry has felt like a blessing to me. I dont often hear constant arguing, excluding Sodo's complaining about something or just yelling out of anger.
I sigh deeply, knowing damn well i will no longer go back to the house i once called 'home'. The house that always smelt like cigarettes and alcohol. The house thats always messy, and is never quiet due to the constant screaming and arguments.
But did i deserve to even live in the ministry? I just popped up in here which suprised everyone. I just appeared out of nowhere like a homeless cat.
Sometimes, i feel like i dont belong here. Which is true, right?
I feel comfortable here tho. Despite Sodo being a litteral dick to me. I dont know what he's problem is anyway.
I winced as i felt my scars sting again. I looked down at my wrists, looking at the fresh blood from my cuts, dripping to the bathroom floor as it mixes up with the water. Do i ever keep clean? I tried. But it didn't last long with my thoughts, who was screaming at me as the voices got louder and i missed feeling the stinging feeling i get whenever i sliced the blade across my s/c skin, missing when it relieves me, missing when the blood drops to the floor. Which i had to clean up.
Have i ever opened up to anyone? No.
Having the need to open up to some ghoul or ghoulette has always been kept in my thoughts, locked up. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I dont want them to worry about me. And i do not wanna waste their time with my stupid stories of trauma. I feel like its better to just...
Heal by myself.
I hate myself. I hate the fact I can't even try and keep it healthy and clean. I just wanna live a good life. Why is that so difficult to happen? Why can't I just live happily?
And by happily i mean parents who actually care and love their children, who aren't alcoholics who argue from time to time, the parents who actually try their best to comfort their children even if they don't know what's going on with them.
Living a life like that is my dream. But that dream is shattered to pieces because i know for a fact that it may never happen.
𖤐
"Y/N? Time for dinner!" Cirrus knocks on my door as i finished changing my clothes. "Coming!" I yelled so she could hear me.
I opened my door, to see Cirrus waiting for me. "Hey! I was looking everywhere for you a couple of hours ago. Do you ever come out of your room?" Cirrus asks playfully, grabbing my arm and interlinked it with hers. "Come on, lets go eat!" Cirrus says, smiling at me. I smiled back.
We got to the table and sat down next to each other. I sat in between Cumulus and Cirrus. Sunshine is next to Cumulus.
Everyone chatted while i stayed quiet, my cheek resting on my palm as my free hand holds the fork that is playing with the food as i have no appetite. I could go hours without eating, thats a fact.
"Y/N? why are you just playing with the food? Are you not hungry? I never saw you ate today tho.." Cumulus asks, concerned. Everyone gazes turned to me. I feel slightly panicked as i feel them staring. I lowered my head.
"I ate.. don't worry." I mumbles, Cumulus heard that and wouldn't wanna pressure me more so she nodded in understanding and went back to eating. So did everyone.
If only i could tell you i didn't.
𖤐
'RING, RING, RING ,RING!'
"Hello..?" I mumbled sleepily as i answered the phone as i just woke up from my slumber thanks to the call.
"Is this miss Y/N?" a male voice has said.
"Yes, this is she." I say, rubbing my eyes to wipe away the sleepiness.
"This is the medical examiner-coroner's office."
Final exam of the year in a week. Will publish more after October<3!
