Love&Affection | Larry Stylinson

77|77

Harry Styles.

"I was gonna propose you know." I said through a drunken slur. He hums.

"I was gonna propose, that night everything went down, I was going to find a really fancy place, maybe get kicked out for being too loud and then I would've proposed."

Tripping over the rug I catch myself on the couch. "It would've been wonderful, truly. I mean I had a whole thing planned. I lost the ring that night of the fire, now I'm just sort of, praying that it comes back."

Leaning against the wall I stare over at the coffee table, the phantom of Niall and Nia dancing around giving everyone they'd met, a show. "I miss the times when I was the prisoner."

Wiping my hand over my face I finish my drink setting the glass down. "I miss, having everybody's attention when I walked in, Nia still trying to teach me how to read secretly."

My hand slipped against the glass, a small cut forming. "I miss when we were all just getting used to being around a family again. Everything is starting to slip away. I haven't heard Liam say a word in days, Riley disappeared and left me for dead and Niall is still trying to figure out Charlie and Nia."

Turning around I started to frown. His puppy dog eyes staring me right in the face. "I don't know what to do anymore and it hurts me."

I was too drunk to hear a word that was being said. He tried to catch me but I was down before he could. "I just wish I could've died that night the crash happened. Maybe then nobody would've been hurt."

My eyes were starting to close and I felt my head spin each time they did. "I can't do this anymore, I can't be here just, knowing that I've caused all of this hurt and grief and this, pain."

I stand up from the floor, pouring myself another drink.

"I have so much hurt in my heart and it's getting harder to understand why I'd stopped doing what I did. I can't be here anymore if I'm just going to sit by and let everything in my life die. I can't do it."

That drink was gone just as quickly. "My heart hurts, Leah- I had gotten over it, she was hurting my kids and I got over it. But losing the others? I can't do that. I can't deal with it."

I stumbled over. "You, you're his best friend, his brother you- he's practically your entire world and you lost him. I'm sat here moping about him because I'm drunk and you're trying so hard. Zayn I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Zayn hadn't spoken much either, each time he'd tried he'd gone pale. "There's another fair on, tomorrow night. We can all go and then we can go to the diner after. Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry." He shakes his head, resting his hands on my cheeks. "You have no reason to be sorry. This was not your fault. This was his dad, and Jace and Leah- I hate that you feel like this is your fault and I wish there was something I could do, but there's not."

"I just wish everyone would be okay, I want everybody to be okay I need them to be safe. Zayn I can't lose anybody else they don't deserve it. They have to be okay."

"They will, John can you get me some ice please, and a first aid kit. Hey- hey look at me. It's late, you're drunk. We can sleep on the couch again if you want. Watch spiderman?"

"I can't sleep." I heard the little footsteps. Then I saw her curly little head in the dark. "Daddy I can't sleep." She trudged her way over. Rubbing her eyes. "Me either princess."

She'd sat with me while Zayn had fixed my hand. I didn't really want to let her go, Louis would've killed me if I let her in the bed.

"I- I uh, I made you tea." Liam whispered from near the couch. The front door opened and Niall walked in, Riley leaning against him like she'd just ran miles with no water.

Charlie walked in not too far behind with ice cream in his hand. "It's 12 o'clock Whys she still awake?" Niall whispered. Trying to sound angry. "I can't sleep."

"None of us can kid." Liam whispered. Keeping his eyes on the ground. "How about we all sit on a couch and just sleep, watch a few movies and complain about the neck cramp tomorrow."

Nia had never jumped so high, like a rabbit over a fence. "Can we watch Batman?" She asked, a beaming smile on her face. "Your dads number one rule is no Batman." Niall replied.

"I thought Louis' number one rule was no cheese?" Liam frowns. "Whatever, that rule is in the top three. No Batman."

"Can it be a Lego Batman?" She smiles. "Loopholes, you are your fathers daughter." Zayn taps her nose. "Daddy." She whispered.

"Yes my love." I whispered back. "I'm glad you're home today."

My heart almost dropped out of my chest. She seemed so sincere. "Me too princess." Picking her up I found my way into the corner of the couch, Nia curled into a ball with me.

I wasn't sure if it was because I was still drunk or if I was just seriously damaged but I was on the verge of tears most of the night.

I'd never gotten far enough to say I was crying, just- almost there.

"I'm a night stalking, crime fighting, vigilante..."

Turns out me and Nia were different in the same fonts, every word of spiderman was engraved into my head forever.

Every word of every Batman related movie or show, was engraved into hers.

Pushing her hair from her face I gently brushed my finger over the bridge of her nose. She'd almost conked out the second I'd done it.

"Harry," Liam leans in. "Just for the record... we're all glad you're here."

It had become a pile on. Liam piled on then Zayn and then Charlie and then Niall and Riley, the couch was really more of a bed so it worked out well enough.

"Princess you're drooling on my shirt. I swear if you're dreaming of cutting peoples hair again I'm going to remove your memories from your head."

I kissed her head gently. "Goodnight I love you."