Harry Styles.
The doctors were explaining everything but I really couldn't focus on Louis right now and I know that's bad but I already knew what was happening with Louis. "Is Charlie okay?"
"He's- he's going to be, he's got a lot of smoke in his lungs and there's some old scarring on his tissue that need to be checked. Do you know if he's had a history of drugs?"
"He's 13." Niall argues. "Ni he's a foster kid. Uh- his, mum was an addict he was born he was NAS and the scarring is due to that and his dad was- he uh- he was abusive. I think there's unhealed fractures too judging by the way he walks- sorry."
"You talk far too much."
"Shut up." I look behind. The doctor, her stupid little smile staring back. "Excuse me?"
"Sorry he's a little weird. Sees things please ignore him." I hate that look, that poor look that made me feel like the worst person in the world.
"You ruined my life. Not even ten minutes away from this building."
"I'm sorry." Feeling my jacket pull back I watched her slowly get further away.
"My poor kids."
"I'm sorry." My legs started to feel numb. Then the worst happened. Leah showed up. Stood right beside her with a smile.
"Her poor kids."
Holding my hands over my stomach I turn to Niall. Resting my head on his shoulder. "It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay."
"Oh my god there you go again, making yourself the victim. Your boyfriend is in a coma your sisters dead, your kids were almost killed and you're feeling sorry for yourself? There's not a scratch on you."
"I'm sorry." Niall rests his hand over my head. "It's not real. Everything's okay I promise. You're gonna be just fine."
"Niall she's gone, he's half dead, Charlie's in surgery and Nia almost died. It's my fault. Everything's my fault. If I hadn't asked to bring Leah back then everyone would be okay."
"Harry this is not your fault. Louis was looking for her just as much as you were. None of this is your fault I promise. Now is okay, Charlie is okay. They're both okay."
"Riley almost died." I stammered out. "I'm not dead. You're stuck with me. Hey, okay come on we're gonna go this way and I'm gonna talk to you okay."
"About what?" She takes my hand. "What ever you think you need to talk about."
"That's a long list." I said through a cry. "That's okay. I'm great at talking." Sitting down on the bed she closes the door. "We're not supposed to be in here."
"It's fine. Harry listen, I know you feel like you have to push everything onto yourself and you have to let go of your feelings because other people are hurt and you're okay but you're not okay, you almost lost your kids today. You almost lost your boyfriend, you lost your sister. Mate you have every right to be upset and angry and like the world is falling apart."
"But it's my fault." She holds her hands by her sides. "Why? Why is it your fault? Did you kill her? Did you set the fire? Did you put them in the house? Did you hurt Louis? No? Then explain to me how exactly is it your fault? Because you and I both know that you are far from at fault here. I hate- I hate to say this but it's Nellys fault, I love- I love her and I miss her and I regret every single minute I spent going through that idea in my head but I hate her, she ruined your life, she tried to kill your kid."
"But I'm the one that wanted her back here. I'm the one that almost got us all killed. If I'd just kept her there-"
"She would've found another way. Harry you have been dragged into one side of the world that you don't deserve, you are kind and selfless and- you were just a kid. You were a kid trying to raise an adult, I know that you've done things that are bad and wrong but you've done those things out of protection for everybody else around you. You have stood there your entire life and fixed yourself into being exactly what everybody wants because that's how she made you think. You, my love, you have done nothing wrong. I need you to believe me- what do you have to say? Hm?"
"I can't sit here and blame everybody for my problems. I raised myself and-"
"Exactly! Harry that's my fucking point. You have fucking raised yourself, you shouldn't have to. You're supposed to be a kid, you're supposed to get mad and say sorry but feel safe enough to talk. You're supposed to be sad and have the first person you go to be your mum. You're supposed to talk to her and trust her and go to her and know that at the end of the day, she will love you even if you 'fuck up' you didn't get to be a kid Harry, you had to raise yourself. Where in the fuck do you expect to find everything you need if you're raising yourself?"
"I'm not a good person-"
"Nobody fucking is. Name one person you trust that hadn't fucked up? I sure can't. Everything that, you have done has been for the better."
"If I hadn't let her go the first time then she would be okay." I drop my head. "Harry, it's not your fault. It is not your fault. None of whatever built you up to where you are right now, is your fault. You were a kid trying to get out of a place you didn't want to be in. You can't be mad at yourself for moving on."
"What if- I didn't get to Nia in time? What if she hadn't been able to get to the window? Riley I'm scared to leave her alone. I don't want her growing up the way I did. I don't want her scared to turn her back."
"Nia has received so much love from you. If she's anything like her dad I don't think she's gonna have any problems."
"I just want you all to live. I closing want any of you to die." She holds her hands over my face.
"Promise you that none of us are gonna die until we're really old."
YOU ARE READING
Love&Affection | Larry Stylinson
Fanfic"He's dead." Harry whispered. "That's the idea." "He's dead." He repeats. "I mean his eyes are separate from his sockets and his spleen is somewhere mixed in with his teeth. So yes." "You killed him!" He points. "Don't point what if he's shy." "Oh...
