One of Two // JJ Maybank

the darkest hour: four / my druthers: one

as everything turned dark, i felt someone pull me out and heard coughing next to me. i opened my eyes and coughed out a bunch of water, almost like i was throwing up. i heard yelling but it was all fuzzy. sarah crawled over to me as i continued coughing up water and gasping for air. once my vision got clearer, i saw topper in front of me and sarah. he looked at us worriedly and grabbed our shoulders. "are you guys, okay?" he asked. "can you breathe?"

i was shaking a lot. i didn't move and i lookd down at the wood i was sitting on. i was still gasping for air as sarah wrapped her arms around topper. i felt his warmth on me, trying to help me up. he walked me and sarah to his boat and handed us water and a blanket. i stared silent at the water as we boated back to wherever. i closed my eyes trying to fall asleep and did.

it was a nightmare. i don't know how i ended up in toppers house with a warm bed and breakfast, but i ate it anyways. soon later, we boarded his boat to go back to the chateau.

how could rafe do that to his own blood? i thought to myself as a tap on my shoulder brought me out of my trance. i looked over as sarah motioned to stand up. "john b?" she said. i whipped my head to see everyone, including john b on the dock.

i sighed of relief, knowing that he was set free. i didn't need any explanation. i stepped onto the hms pogue and immediately hugged jj, who pushed past kie and pope to get to me first. i didn't wanna let go after everything that happened last night. "you're safe. it's okay." he whispered into my hair, stroking it softly. i bet he could feel how tense i was and when i walked to him, i didn't meet his gaze.

"he jumped us last night." i heard sarah say as i pulled away from jj. "that's why we didn't come back."

jj looked at me with a confused expression. i bit my lip and looked down, then towards topper. "yeah, rafe had lost his mind." topper explained. i stood close to jj who dropped his arm around me and glared at topper. "literally almost drowned his own sisters." i looked towards jj as he clenched his jaw. i furrowed my brows and sighed. "luckily, i got there, just in time."

topper smiled at both of us as jj looked to me and then to topper. john b did the same but looked at sarah. i nodded and decided to speak. "yeah, um he did." i agreed. "we would've died if he wasn't there."

john b started talking as jj pulled me away from the tension. i followed him as he stopped, grabbing his hat, clearly in frustration. "jj?" i asked.

he threw it onto the dock and scoffed. "i should've been there." he mumbled, shaking his head. "i should've saved you. not... topper."

i looked down and sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "i-it's okay." i replied, looking up at him. "you ran off trying to figure something out so..."

jj grabbed my shoulder and sighed. "spencer, i worry about you." he whispered, not breaking eye contact. "i mean, you almost got killed last night by your own family member i just-" he stopped as i crossed my arms. "you are the only person that sees me for me and that's what i like about you."

my breath hitched at the realization. did he just admit to liking me? "c-can we not have this talk, right now?" i muttered, looking to the side.

jj grabbed my chin and shook his head. "nuh uh." was all he said, before dragging me away from the pogues and taking me to the hammocks. we laid in them and stayed silent. i honestly really didn't have the energy to talk about the unbearable tension between me and jj. not that i deny having feelings for him, which i very much do, there was a lot going on and this was just piling up on my plate of shit.

i played with the hem of my shirt as the hammock swayed back and forth slowly. i felt his gaze on me but didn't look up. "spencer, we really need to talk about-"

"i know." i crinkled my face and looked down. "why did you even leave the porch yesterday? you never told me, you just left."

jj crosses his arms and sighed. "i needed to find a way to break john b out." he replied. i scoffed and rolled my eyes. of course. "i had it planned-"

i stood up from the hammock and threw my hands up. he furrowed his brows. "kiara told me, jj." i shrugged and held up my backup phone where kiara was texting me everything that happened. "everything that i've been saying to you comes into place right now. you always act without thinking and it terrifies me!"

jj stood up from his spot, i saw his fist clench and release. his eyes locked into mine. "you just can't keep making reckless decisions!" i argued. "someday you're gonna end up dead or even in jail and i can't have that, jj!"

i watched him roll my eyes and sigh frustratedly. "he's our friend, spencer! what else are we supposed to do? he's probably gonna get the death penalty!" he shouted.

we looked at each other angrily in silence. i took a deep breath, calming down as i tried not to cry. "you don't get it." i whispered, shaking my head. "i can't stand here and watch you risk your own life."

his face slowly dropped off anger into a more calmer expression. i was distressed, emotionally and physically. "what are you talking about?" he asked confused.

i pinched the bridge of my nose. it's so obvious, how does he not see it? "is it not clear that i like you?" i said quietly. "i can't lose you. i've lost my family, i almost lost sarah. you mean everything to me." i could tell he wasn't expecting me to confess everything to him but i couldn't keep it in much longer. "this wasn't how i was planning on telling you, but it scares me to see you put your life on the line."

i know the last couple days we've kept saying the same thing but it was different. this time it was different then the other times.

he stepped closer to me, cupping my cheek on his hand. our face were inches apart at this point. my breath hitched slightly. "you know i care about you, more than i've ever admitted." he chuckled, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear with his other hand. "i can't lose you either."

i watched as his eyes trailed down to my lips then back up to my eyes. every little moment me and jj had made it'd way into my mind, reminding me this who i wanted, and i wouldn't change it. "you have no idea how long i've been waiting to do this." jj whispered.

jj was right, i knew from the stuttering words before i left with john b and the long moments of just looking into each others eyes, that this was it, something we both wanted. our treasure. a sudden rush of adrenaline kicked in as i leaned closer. finally, after months of flirty remarks, late night rendezvous, and him sneaking into my window for absolutely no reason and some for good reasons...

he kissed me.

-
a/n
yay finally smh