Slow Down - Jaywon

21: 'One or two more'

It felt like a piece of heaven and hell. Their lips brushed softly and Jungwon was enveloped in too much shock to give back. Still, his hand kept Jay's shirt clamped within his palm. It was such an impulsive move, for when it had happened Jungwon remained stock-still.

Then Jay moved his fingers over the nape of his neck slowly, stroking his skin gently and Jungwon went cold with chills. What was he doing? He could barely think straight as his hands found purchase on Jay's shoulders.

He didn't know how to respond on his own, so Jungwon was left passively following everything Jay would do. What touched his tongue was nothing short of sweet, but the subtle sweet and not the overwhelming repulsive kind.

Jungwon immediately paused. His eyes widened and he abruptly removed his hands from Jay's shoulders before shoving him away. In utter disbelief he was, to realize what he had just done when stricken by the thought that he just kissed Jay-a boy. He cleaned his lips with the back of his hand and he avoided looking at Jay again.

Jungwon squeezed his eyes shut while he seized the blanket in his hand like a vice. There was no way.

"It's too late to take it back," Jay told him, sounding genuine despite the pleased grin that Jungwon could hear in his tone. Unfortunately, Jungwon was well versed with that knowledge. That was what made it worse.

"We're back," Riki chimed cheerfully as he came in through the door. A quick glance at the snacks in his hand would show why his gaiety was so prevelant.

"How are you feeling now?" Sunoo asked Jungwon. The younger boy only nodded to convey a small nonverbal answer.

"Hopefully Jay didn't piss you off while we were out. Did he?" Jake said, exchanging Jay a pointed look that the other boy loudly scoffed at.

It seemed that Jungwon couldn't avoid it, the endless topics about Jay that arose in their conversations. Being around anyone then eventually hearing about Jay wasn't a mutually exclusive event, he learned. There was no one without the other and Jungwon had to suffer with that.

"No," Jungwon murmured.

"I'm surprised," Sunghoon mentioned in a whisper below the hearing level of the rest of them, safe for Jake who handed him an inquisitive look.

"You talk about me as if I'm not right here in the same room," Jay grumbled indignantly.
Riki watched in childlike silence the entire exchange, then adding a chuckle to Sunoo's following remark. Oh how smitten he was.

"Well, maybe we should celebrate the fact that you finally woke up. We should hang out again and I could plan everything out-well, unless you don't want to," Sunoo suggested.

Riki murmured, "Give him a while, he hasn't even been discharged yet." And though the two were prone to sporting banters, Sunoo understandably agreed with him.

"Right. I bet you're already stressed out wondering how you will resume college. In that case, we'll be waiting for you to get used to everything again," said Sunoo. And a small cordial smile would stretch upon his face when Jungwon-though tentatively-agreed to the proposal.

Transition to the next day. Jungwon was justifiably unsettled at the thought of seeing Jay again. Following what had happened last time, the moment was forever impressed in his mind. Even when receiving another checkup, it was hard for him to comply with the instructions. He couldn't clear his mind of that day no matter how much he wanted to.

Jungwon was easily disquieted by the presence of Jay in his mind and even more so with Jay there. In his spot he writhed under the blanket with his hands pressed firmly together. He spoke quietly, "Why did you come?"