I hate that I love you [Diabolik Love story]

Book One: 5

Kanato nodded his head before he and Subaru left where Serena worked, as Serena worked she couldn't shake off the feeling she had. So when she got off of work she drove back home slowly before she sat on the porch to her apartment. She took a small box from her pocket out before getting one of the sticks from it placing it in her mouth before she lit it up. She inhaled some of it before taking it out of her mouth and exhaling it. She then started to softly cry into her freehand as she attempted to get herself together.

"Don't you look pathetic?" Subaru said from behind her

"Shut it brat, I don't need you stressing me out even more." She said coldly

"Is that why you are slowly killing yourself with those?" Subaru asked as he sat next to her pointing to the cigarette box

"Yes, do you have a problem with my life style?" She asked coldly

"I'm just curious on how a girl like you could seem so level ended one moment then a mess like this the next."

"I have been diagnosed with being depressed and bipolar. It's not severe enough that I have to take medication for it yet, but...It's why I live on my own. My mother had me disowned and kicked out because I wasn't 'normal' since I was still a child I had to go through child services just to get this place. As long as I don't do something stupid I can stay out of an orphanage."

"What about your father?" Subaru asked

"Died when I was 5...I was blamed for it though even though it was because of a drunken driver that my dad was killed." She said before she took another drag of the cigarette in her hand

He then took it out of her hand and placed it out before he took the box from her. "That's no reason to kill yourself. As long as Kanato and I are here with you I don't want to see you ever smoke these got it?"

"Tch you aren't my father nor my baby sitter so fuck off and I'll do whatever I want." She said narrowing her eyes at him.

He didn't like the tone she gave him and he pushed her down and glared at her. "Do you have any idea what you mean to Kanato and me?"

"Like I give a fuck, sooner or later you two will go back and I'll be alone. I am not holding my breath for anything Subaru and neither should you. You aren't going to be here long and I know that for a fact. Spells can only last so long before the back fire." Serena said glaring back up at him

They had a glaring competition before he moved part of her hair out of the way and he bit her neck. She winced in pain as she saw from behind him that it was a full moon.

'Man I'm fucked'

After he fed off of her, he moved away from her and he went inside as she went to sit on the railing. She then started to sing as she looked to the moon.

"Once I hoped

To seek the new and unknown

This planet's overrun

There's nothing left for you or for me

Don't give in, we can

Walk through the fields

And feeling nature's glow

But all the land is owned

There's none left for you or for me

Who will win?

'Cause I concede

Free me

Free me

Free me from this world

I don't belong here

It was a mistake imprisoning my soul

Can you free me

Free me from this world" She sang before she felt arms around her.

"You have a nice singing voice." She heard Kanato say from behind her

"Get your arms from around me Kanato."

"Not going to happen. I love you."

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "No you don't, you don't understand the meaning of the word love. Neither one of you understand that word. I don't want to hear either one of you say that you care or that you love me. Because I know damn well neither one of you knows how to be compassionate."

"And you do Serena?" He asked curiously

"No, I don't. I never knew what it was like to be loved by someone. I was very much hated by the people who called themselves my 'family'...Tell me Kanato. Would you believe me if I told you that I wasn't supposed to be born...That I was a mistake?" She asked as she looked up at the moon

"I don't believe that at all, you aren't a mistake at all." He said as he buried his face against her back

She was slightly amused by his answer and laughed halfheartedly as she swung her legs back and forth. "Oh your answer amuses me so much Kanato! Tell me why do you care so much for me when you aren't going to be here forever?"

"I'll answer you if you get down. Below you is glass, you'd get yourself hurt if you fall."

"I'll be just fine Kanato...really. You don't need to worry about me." She said as she sighed.

"Please just get down Serena, you aren't immortal like Subaru and I you'll get hurt if you fall."

"Okay then Kanato, I'll come down if you give me a kiss. If you can bring yourself up to do that then I'll come down. If not then I'll have to ask you to leave me the hell alone...Alright?" She said first looking to him with a slight grin before she looked back up at the moon

He didn't think kissing her would be the best option even if it would make her get down. She soon laughed and held her side. "Oh the look on your face is the same one Yui had on hers! I wish I had a mirror to show you! But I guess I'll come down now." She said standing up on the railing.

"Don't do it! You are going to regret it."

"I won't regret death, the ending off all suffering, all stress, all the emotional stress I've been placed through year after year. If I die you and Subaru will most likely go back home. So...Maybe this will be goodbye Kanato." She said as she made it so she was turned to face him.

He frowned at her. "Please don't, just come back on the porch...please? I'm asking you politely Serena." He said sadly

"No, and I won't say I'm sorry because I'm not." She then let herself fall only to be caught by the ankle by Kanato.

"You stupid human, why must you make me do things like this just to save you?" He said before he pulled her up

As he did she tried to get his hand off of her ankle but it didn't work he was much stronger than she was. Once she was back on the porch he hugged her tightly as he placed her head against his chest. Feeling his arms around her she then started to cry as she then hugged him back after a few minutes. He sighed a little before he rubbed her back softly.

"It's okay, I have you now Serena. I'll always be here for you."