I hate that I love you [Diabolik Love story]

Book One: 21

Kanato shook his head. "I-I don't want Rena to be sad or angry at me for leaving her alone. I know you don't want Laito and the others to harm her but we can't just leave Rena like she means nothing to either one of us. S-She'll think the worst with both of us gone!"

Subaru shook his head and rubbed between his eyes. "Fine, if that's how you're going to be then you can stay here and I'll deal with our idiot brothers." Subaru said seriously before he left

Kanato didn't know what to do, he didn't want Subaru to be alone, but then again....he didn't want to leave Serena all alone. So he chose what he thought was right. He left a note for Serena before he left to find Subaru. Once he did he walked beside him since they couldn't teleport where they were which was a shame, he couldn't scare Serena whenever he wanted to.

When they got to the house they realized that his brother's were making a wreck out of the house, Kanato knew that Serena should have gone with them, but due to Subaru wanting to do it himself he had to just be quiet and see how things went before getting Serena. Subaru yelled at all of them to stop being idiots and knocked them out before placing them inside the house and looking to Kanato.

"Find whatever book that crazy bat used to get us here." Subaru said as he tied up the four males

Kanato nodded his head and did as he was told only to feel himself be hurt in the chest. He stopped and knelt down in pain.

"T-This isn't my own pain I feel...." He said to Teddy before he held teddy tightly. "R-Rena's up."

He tried once more to teleport which that time it worked. He made his way around the apartment and he held his chest. He couldn't think straight with the pain he felt. But he tried to ignore it as he went around to find her only to see her in the bathroom holding the note he wrote.

Her body was sitting within the tub lifeless and bleeding. His eyes began to water before he went up to her and tried to wake her up.

"Serena...Serena please wake up. Don't do this to me! Y-You know how I feel about your jokes! I-I didn't mean to leave you alone! WAKE UP!!!" He said as he slowly started to lose his sanity over the smell of his love's blood.

Before he could do anything his body was pulled out of the building and he woke up in his room. He looked around and he frowned before he started to cry once more.

"S-Serena...." He said sadly

"DAMN THAT GIRL!" Subaru yelled from outside his room

He came into Kanato's room and glared at him "What the fuck happened that made us be here?!"

"R-Rena....S-She....She killed herself because we weren't there...I-I knew it was going to happen. I knew that she'd do that! BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LISTEN DO YOU?! YOU DON'T KNOW SERENA LIKE I DID! SHE HARMED HERSELF BECAUSE OF US! BECAUSE WE WEREN'T THERE WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO! SHE LOVED BOTH OF US AND YOU TOSSED THAT ASIDE FOR NOTHING!!!! NOW WE WON'T EVER SEE HER EVER AGAIN!" Kanato said first sadly before he got angered at his younger brother

Subaru balled his fists up and glared at Kanato. "Oh blame it on me! You said you'd stay there yet you left anyways! Don't blame it all on me!"

"I didn't want you killing them! You realize if you would have killed them there we would have to explain to Rena why everything in our time was mess up right?!" Kanato growled angered

The two argued back and forth with one another until Reiji came into the room to tell them that they had to leave for school. Neither one of them said anything as they left, neither one of them wanted to fight with the other anymore.

That night Kanato was more sadden and depressed than he usually was, he didn't like the feeling he had just because of what happened. He wasn't supposed to remember the death or anything about the young woman who loved him and cared for him. Instead of just sulking he went to his favorite place to make a wax doll of the young woman he loved so dearly. He would make sure to make her extra special just to show just how much he cared about the young woman.

With Subaru, he knew that Kanato was right, it was his fault. He shouldn't have let the two of them leave like they did. But it happened and there wasn't anything that he or Kanato could do. The girl was dead just like she had always said to him that she'd end up. He hadn't realized that she had a fear about being alone that she was happy to always have him and Kanato around her.

Her fear didn't seem to be a problem with them around, she didn't cut herself or smoke because they were there to keep her from going on edge. Subaru didn't realize that until he wasn't there with her anymore. He felt like he could have done more if it wasn't for the constant attention he had given Kana.

He punched the wall in anger before he destroyed his whole room. Serena was right to not trust them fully and to end herself, otherwise Kanato and him would have done it for themselves. Then the blame would be bigger as to who drained her more him or Kanato. But that didn't matter anymore, what did was that Serena was gone and that it was because he wasn't there for her. He told her he'd be there for her and he wasn't.

Both of them knew about her Depression and her Bi-polar disorder that came up ever now and then. Neither one of them had to really deal with either because Kanato would always be there to comfort her and give her the comfort that she needed. She didn't need to take medication just to make herself feel safe, she had Kanato....

Which he fucked up. "DAMN IT!" Subaru yelled angered

"Someone's moody." A voice said with an amused chuckle

His eyes went wide as he saw the person he was pissed off that died. "How did you-" He said before he was hit hard on the stomach.

"That's for being an asshole! I can't stay long, don't you dare tell Kanato you saw me first!" The female growled before she disappeared.

Subaru didn't understand what he just saw but went to Kanato's room to see that he had just gotten done with something.

"Hey...Kanato. The two of us need to speak." Subaru said with a sigh

"No we don't. Go away Subaru." He said as he kept his back to Subaru

"Yes we do...Serena...I think she found a way to kill herself and come here." Subaru said unsure

Kanato stopped what he was doing for a second before shaking his head and going back to work two times quicker

"You are talking crazier than I usually do. Serena killed herself with your knife, there is no possible way for her to be here." Kanato said as he glared back to Subaru "Now will you stop bringing her up, its bad enough that I can't have her in my arms. I don't need you getting my hopes up for nothing!"

Subaru sighed and just left. He tried, but it seemed like he couldn't shake his brother out of being angered. "Poor Kanato, doesn't believe you huh?" The female asked as he got into his room.

"Why the hell are you just showing yourself to me for?!" Subaru growled angered

"I'm not really here, I'm only shown to those who really miss me and want to see me again. His will to see me isn't all that great because of his pure hatred for you. There's only one thing I can think of to do but I can't do it till a full moon." The female said with a shrug

He t'ched and glared at her. "You're full of shit!"

"Nope, I'm not here. How many times must I repeat this? Jeeze, to have me be around Kanato you're going to have to find a way to not have him be pissed off at you." The female said before she disappeared

"How the fuck- UGH! AGAIN!?" Subaru said before he made another hole in the wall.