Champion

1. How it was

Blood rushing through every single vein in my body, feeling like they will burst. I can taste my sweat on my lips and feel it dripping down my face, I'm struggling to breathe, my head is pounding and it feels as though I'm floating, flying through the sky.

My heart drops knowing what comes next. The landing... it takes longer than usual but when it comes it feels so much worse. I feel my bones cracking under the weight of the car, how did my arm end up there anyway?
I was upside down, drowsy and I had so much adrenaline pumping through me that I couldn't feel a thing, but I knew that this was supposed to hurt.

I hear him calling for me, calling my name, my eyes close and everything goes black, but even then I hear him shouting, "Marie!"... "Fuck!", I wake up and  Lando is screaming my name shaking me, I am hot, confused and breathing heavily.

"What happened, are you okay?", he asked. I sat upright and looked at the alarm clock next to my bed, It was 2:06 a.m and my boyfriend just shook the shit out of me after a nightmare. Am I not too old for nightmares now or will this keep happening? I look into his concerned eyes and apologize , "I'm sorry, it's that bloody dream again."

He gives a knowing look, trying to shift away from the concern he had mere moments ago, but he can't so he asks, "Love, I feel like these dreams are getting worse, you actually screamed tonight and scared the living shit out of me when I couldn't wake you. I really think you should talk to someone, or at least to me..."

I didn't want to think about that night, I didn't want to face it, but it seemed like the more I was running away front it, the more it was chasing me. "I know I should, I'm sorry. I just feel like I can't get away, it's been so long and it's still haunting me."

Lando was a good guy, she truly cared for him. He was smart, had a sense of humor, was supportive and successful , not too bad on the eyes and most of all, her dad loved him, a lot...
He was her dream guy, the prince she would end up with and live happily ever after. But still even though he was perfect, it felt like a piece of her was missing and although she never was, she felt alone.

"Can we talk about this later maybe, I'm really tired and we have the race tomorrow, so I figure we both better get some sleep?", this was my way of avoiding the whole conversation for as long as possible, I can't stand it but I also can't talk about what happened so this was my way of 'dealing with it'

"Marie-", he began but I guess he knew it was a lost cause because he just agreed and turned to his side with his back facing me, I knew this hurt him but i just wanted to sleep, so I did...