my life

Church Me

At church i was the hardheaded little girl. Little did they know, my behavior there was just a reflection of how i was treated as a child. At home everything was abouty sister and brother. They were the ones who got all the good books and presents and attention. All i got was the occasional "i love you" from my mom. But that was enough. That little saying was my reassurance that mom was forced to ignore me because if she didnt my dad would get mad. On the low, my mom was the superhero. Every christmas she would take me out to eat. Just me and her, just so that she could let me know that she supported and loved me very much. On that note, i tried to act as good in church because of that little reassurance. However, my plan did not go as well as I thought it would. Even at church, the place that most people would think is the place that everyone was accepted, i was always unappreciated. But i was a child i thought that if you needed attention you would have to force them to see you. I threw tables, yelled, cussed out teachers and once put myself in the hospital because i tripped on ky own two feet and passed out. But my plan didnt work. From that moment on i was named the trouble maker and everyone basically shunned me. This made me feel like i didnt belong. I resolved to cutting my self thinking that it would dull the feeling of not being wanted.