my life

Love

Why  does love hurt so much? why do we sacrifice ourselves for the people we love? Why are we so blinded by the person's beauty to the point where we change ourselves to be what we deem worthy of a person like them? I ask myself those questions on a daily basis. I used to be in love with the idea of love. Wanting to meet the one, get married, even have a kid or two. I was really desperate and stupid to believe that I would get a happy ending. I was completely wrong. Time after time I wear my heart on my sleeve wishing that someone would restore it to its rightful place. However, all of those times I was just setting myself up for disaster. I put my life on hold for someone who ended up making me feel like crap in the end. So is it worth it? Is love worth the pain of getting your heart crushed multiple times? Is it worth losing yourself and changing yourself just so that someone would notice you. I wander the earth knowing that the happy ending that my childish half desired so much will never come my way. I feel so stupid for believing those old stories. You know, the one where the maid or the servant would get a chance to go to a ball where she meets "the one". Then they dance the night away and end up in a lifetime full of complete and utter bliss. those stories were so overrated. They brainwashed innocent children into believing that one day, the would the man of woman of their dreams and live happily ever after without any problems at all.  It makes me sick to even think of attempting to put my heart on the line again just to be cut off. I now loathe the idea of love. From now on I decide to live for me, not a man ( or woman). I'll make my own decisions and will choose my own path. I dont need a partner to make me feel special. thats all superficial.