Despair (Book 3)

Epilogue

Athena

"Come on," Eli whispered, leading me off the Hogwarts express for the last time. I was still disoriented from what had happened earlier that week. I was in pain, quite and spiteful. I didn't want to let anyone in. The only people who tried to talk to me were the three fifth years and Eli. Fred sent me a letter telling me he'd see me as soon as I got home.

"I'm fine," I tried to convince her, but she didn't believe me. I caught sight of Remus. When he saw me, his already worried face worsened. "He's there. That's Moony." I told her, pointing to my godfather.

"Okay." She said and helped me over to him. Once we stopped and I could see him face to face, I stood there for a moment. I was unsure of what to do. We both stared at each other, not saying anything, until I finally collapsed into his arms, breaking down again. He held me. I didn't want to let go of him. I was afraid if I did, I might lose him too.

"Are you two ready to leave?" He asked us shakily. "You don't want to say goodbye to anyone?" It was clear he was trying his best to keep it together for me. I tried my best to compose myself, and I nodded.

"Let's go," I whispered, but didn't move. "We aren't going back to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, are we?" He looked at me for a moment before finally answering.

"I'm afraid so, my dear. You don't have to stay, Athena. You can go home with Eliana, if you want." Remus said. As much as I didn't want to go back, I had to. The two didn't have a formal introduction, but under the circumstances they didn't need one. "It's still the headquarters for The Order."

"No. If you're going, I am, too. That's that." I said, and I let him lead me and Eli away from Platform 9 3/4.

**

"You can go in there and put your stuff away. I have some things to do." I said, barely looking at Eli.

"You okay?"

"Fine, I'll be out in a while." I whispered and walked in the other direction, right into dad's bedroom. I stood in the doorway and couldn't move. I felt glued to the spot, but I didn't want to be. Now that he was dead, it felt wrong going into his room. Yet, that's where my legs carried me. That's where my heart wanted to be. It yearned to feel close to him one last time. I sat down on the edge of his bed and grabbed a fist full of the sheets. Without warning, I let out a loud, body racking sob. I clung to his bed as if he'd come back. It was one of the only things I had left of him.

"Why did you have to go?" I cried, letting my hands smash into the headboard in front of me. "Why couldn't you at least let me say goodbye?" I let myself lay down, and clutched one of his pillows to my chest. "I just got you back," I whispered. "I wasn't ready to lose you again."

"You know, I don't think he did it intentionally." A gentle voice spoke from the door. "I thought you might be in here." Remus said and walked over to me.

"Why'd he have to go?" I asked as he sat down next to me.

"Nobody knows, Athena. Things like this happen all of the time. They're not fair, but we have to deal with them. I'm sure he would've loved to be there when," he paused and closed his eyes "when you get married. It would've been one of his most memorable events." He said and I laid my head on his lap.

"I just wanted him to be there for once, but now..." I held a hand over my mouth to muffle my wails.

"I know, it's truly terrible. It isn't like he didn't want to be there for you," he pointed out and brushed the hair from my face. I sat up and he hugged me tightly. "He was so proud of you." He cradled my head in his hand. "He talked about you every single day. You were the best thing that's ever happened to him." After a moment of silence, I was ready to speak again.

"I have a question for you, Moony." I said softly and laid my head on his chest.

"Anything, love."

"Well, since dad... can't, I was wondering if you would walk me down the isle at my wedding?"

He looked at me for a moment, before giving a sad smile. "I would be honoured to, Athena."