Alte Liebe Rostet Nicht

I'll Do It

"I can't!" They yelled and before he could say anything else they followed up with: "Maybe it's you who'll must do this! It's your fault! "

It had only been a few hours ever since then but it was hard to concentrate, it had been the entire work day. Things didn't change and honestly Izumi was not in the mood. Words can sting, as wrong as they can be grammatically. Sometimes they were the worst, though unknowingly. All because they couldn't keep their mouth shut. Honestly, they were the very last person Izumi wanted to hear anything from, literally. No, even if they were the last person on earth, he would rather go deaf at that point. Their words should mean nothing to him, they should hold no weight. After all, they were just some insignificant backstage worker, doing nothing but work in the background and having no say in the major things. So then why, why did he care? Why did their words have to hit so deep? He didn't get it, he didn't even want to get it. He wished to not think about their nonsensical brabbling. It meant nothing, absolutely nothing! It shouldn't mean anything!

And yet, here he was, the words echoing in his head for the rest of the day. The past few days even. It didn't matter if the other unit members shunned him, he was good at doing it himself at that point. He didn't exchange words nor did he even try to. He was... Not himself. And he knew that. He was anything but himself. He could not do anything correctly, his mind was a mess. He apologized more than he liked. He was not doing anything flawlessly, no, he was making so many mistakes. Mistakes which were all inexcusable. Mistakes who would put anyone into shame, even a professional. And that's saying something. He was a mess, an utter mess. He was haunted by so many emotions, his head may as well be spinning in place. Ugh, it was such a pain and he hated it. All of it. He hated this feeling! And the worst of it all...

Izumi knew that Ann's words rang true.

He knew it, they were right. They had been blunt about it, not even hesitating when it finally had escaped their very own lips. They were correct by every sense of the word. No, every single word. And he hated to admit it. At first he refused to give in. Why would this person be correct? Why would they know better than him? Why should he listen to them!? It didn't make any sense at first but he had to sadly give in. He had to admit to it, he had to give in. It was only a matter of time, he could only deny it for so long. And he hated that he had known all along. He didn't want to, he really didn't. But there was no way around it now.

It was his fault. His and only his. He knew it would eventually bite him in the ass, continuing like some jerk, yet he made little attempts to change it. Or rather, he liked to think that he changed it but something felt off recently in regards to Nyeli... Or Patch. Whatever the cat's name is. He had been rather hostile for no good reason, he knew. And why? Because it was the best for the both of them, or so he would like to believe. If they were apart for so long, it was best that the two of them would wish to avoid one another, hence why Izumi had been acting so distant. It was for the best. Not like the cat wanted to have something to do with him anyway. Either because he actually ran away or was left alone that day. The reason did not matter anymore. They were strangers so why bother reconnecting now? There may be some desire but... It's too late. It's way too late! Isn't it?

"Spend time together! Catch up! No jerk!"

Ann had been suggesting this with no shame whatsoever. He knew what they wanted to say, it was more than obvious: Reconnect with his former partner. Yet he declined, it was impossible, but somehow they believed it to be possible. Apparently this drawing was proof that there was some glimmer of hope. He would scoff at something like this, not wanting to believe this to even be possible. However, had he tried anything like this? No, not even close. Maybe he... Could give it a shot. At least one and see where this goes. Maybe then his stomach won't turn at almost any given time of the day. And to do that... He had to go that far. A day he dreaded, let alone had never thought of coming, but here he was, having made up his mind...

"I... I... I would like you to... Help me with... Something."

Izumi had finally gotten out of his mouth, after moments of silence filling the office. It was probably the most awkward moment of his very own life, let alone Ann's. They had to stare at one another in silence, him unable to open his very own mouth. But who could blame him? Could anyone open up to someone they did initially not like? Of course not! But they had approached him first without issue, now it was his turn. As hurting as it could be for his very own pride. He didn't want to admit to it, but here he was, needing to accept his fate, having to swallow his own pride and just go for it, even if he didn't necessarily like the idea to begin with. But he did, he eventually managed to get it out of his mouth and ask them for help... Though he did not specify it yet.

As for Ann, they had gotten up, saying that they wished to deliver some papers, so he was supposed to make it quick yet the moment they got up with a small stack in hand they stared at him in utter disbelief, their own eyes wide with an open mouth before dropping the small stack of papers from one moment to the next, just staring at him. They didn't say a word, none of that, only staring and staring before suddenly noticing their empty hands. They fell in a sudden panic, going down on their knees to pick them up. He could have just started and left them to it but honestly, he didn't feel like it. It wasn't the right thing.

So instead, much to even his own surprise, he kneeled down to help them pick up the papers one by one. He didn't know why, he just did, handing one by one to them. It had them more off guard, their shock only intensifying as they accepted the gesture, though their hands shaking.

"Huh? Uhm... Thank you." They mumbled with their usual soft voice, though also was met with somewhat of a shock. "But why–"

"Don't worry about that." He only responded, close to sighing while picking up each piece, one by one, and handing them back over. All they could do was accept it, somewhat nod in fact.

"R... Right..."

"Besides, if I want your help of all things, I may as well start helping you sometimes. Then again, I suppose I won't be able to properly make up for it."

"Huh? What are you—"

Handing them the last piece of paper he finally managed to face them again, all embarrassed yet trying to keep a stern face all the same, trying to tell them the best way possible, with the utmost certainty. He had already started so this couldn't get any worse or more embarrassing for him.

"You were the one talking about... Reconnecting with Pa– Ahem, Nyeli, right?"

"Yeah, bu—"

"I... I... I wanted to ask you if... You could help me out with this, alright!? Yeesh..."

He said it. He actually said it. It was hard but it came from Izumi's own lips. It was so embarrassing, so shameful, that he had to ask Ann for help... But there was no turning back now, no choice. And even they couldn't believe it when hearing it.

"Help? Why?" They even asked, wanting to make sure that they got this right perhaps. "I mean, you've.... Told that—"

"I've changed my mind ok!? Geez..." He responded quickly, not even wanting them to think about the details. They even shoved the last paper into their hands while trying so hard to keep facing them. He didn't want to, it was so humiliating but he had to, to show them that he meant it. He was being serious about this. "Will you just help me out here!?"

They were caught off guard yet again, their glasses about to fall off it seems yet they adjusted those just in time after sorting that last piece into the pile.
"Ok listen, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. Not like you of all people would be willing to—"

"O'll do it."

Now it was his turn to let out a sudden yet quick gasp while looking at them with wide eyes. "You what now?"

"I... I'll help you." They confirmed with a nod, though obviously trying to hold back some type of grin. It was hard to say what though. "Since you... Need it... I'll do it."

Ugh, so irritating... They were ready to help... Of course they were, maybe he should have thought so already. Why had he been doubting this? Though he couldn't get that out of his mouth at this point, as if... Afraid to mess up now and make them change their mind, Instead he turned his gaze away, trying to look less embarrassed yet obviously, that was not how this works. He probably came off as even more embarrassed now.

"Thanks Ann... No, seriously. Thanks,"