**tw's: sui implied, night terrors, body talk**
i'm all question marks & ellipses
[...]
a pause: spaced
out now;
all held loose,
tying & untying a necklace noose, who put this there?
strangers come to me at night & tell me i asked for it. i asked to become a vice; split-open, a recurrence of a bared soul. i asked to be dug a hole.
i wonder if they see me again?
i wonder if they can tell me how
to think without dreaming up a frenzied bullet?
we watch the news & we all sit together but none of us burn. i forget to breathe, but i love it the same, this feeling of
will this be the memory that kills me?
of the hurt & the want to be a better thing than the warmth itself. i didn't ask for this bitterness.
i ask to be dug out of a hole.
[with the cup half empty]
i close up altogether.
sewed shut, tight-lipped & switched
off, once more
all i know is how to draw the horizon too early,
how to pour the grief too quickly &
instead, i want to believe in a place i will never know how to call home.
i conjure up a mirage—
that this night will be a happy story
about a boat that does not sink. about a love so splendid,
the best way to think. about how sometimes the whole wick does not have to wilt to die
& sometimes the smoke does not steep or sting, it just yearns to sit.
& sat here trying to figure out whether i hate my body or your gaze on it:
the blistering becomes the bruising becomes the beckoning & i bring
myself to the conclusion that it's all the same thing.
YOU ARE READING
body work
Poesie**for fans of plath, anne sexton & ocean vuong** 'body work' is a captivating collection of poetry that delves into the depths of human experiences, exploring the intricate relationship between the physical body & the emotional & spiritual realms. w...
