Fuxk you

10✪

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"So what did you wanna speak about" Stokeley asked sitting on my bed. I sat beside him awkwardly. "Our parents".

His body posture was stiff. "What about them?". I fiddled with my sheet. "Should I invite them to my grad? Or like-".

"Like what" he cut me off, already annoyed. "Why would you want them there Gabriella. Shits gonna be hella awkward. You want that on your big day?".

"I know but like.. you wouldn't wanna make a truce? We can't keep running forever stokeley".

"And we won't. Once you hit 18 they legally can't force you back in their home. Say they show up wit cops or some shit? Then now you gotta go back there and be around him".

My stomach dropped at the thought. He was right. They would force me to be around the person who caused us to leave in the first place .. I'd a hundred percent be around him, especially since they didn't believe me.

My stomach turned and I felt my heart rate increasing. "Alright Stokeley. We will give it more thought and we'll speak about it later... I gotta get ready".

He inhaled and stood up off of my bed. "Aight. I love you Rella", he opened his arms. "Come".

I walked into his arms and we embraced each other. It was very relieving. He pulled back but I didn't let go. I'm sure he understood how I felt because he rubbed my back.

My eyes were shut, "I love you too". I squeezed tighter then let go. A hug I've been needing for a minute. "Alright, imma fuck wit you. Let me know when y'all leaving for the party".

I nodded and closed my room door behind him. I felt tears Welp my eyes but I was tired of crying about it.

I have to get ready.

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𝒥𝒶𝒽𝓈ℯ𝒽 ꨄ

I sat outside smoking a cigarette. I hate smoking but I need this shit. I let the cigarette rest between my two lips while my hands shuffled through my pockets.

"Shit" I let out loudly. *clang*, my keys fell out of my pocket. It's been a rough day.

I took a breath feeling even more annoyed. Finally, I found my lighter, almost immediately feeling at ease. I sat my back against the house and lit my cigarette. It's like my body reacts before taking the substance. Feels like my body controls itself.

The screen door beside me opened and shut. I looked up at Stokeley startled by his sudden presence. Sometimes it feels like I'm not in control of my own body.

I looked at my hands and then looked back up at him. "You straight bro?" Concern lingered on his eyebrows and forehead.

I brushed my empty hand over my face, trying to snap myself out of whatever my head was doing. Being in jail alone fucked me up.. especially after all the shit that went down in there.

He put his hand on my shoulder. "Nah my fault. I'm just tired but I'm straight," I lied. lying... something that's becoming consistent with me. He seemed a little worried but he didn't press me about it.

"There's some party deeper in Broward. You tryna go and secretly watch out for my sis?". He smiled showing all golds.

Something to temporarily distract me from my brain and emotions fighting against each other, why not? "I'm down. But that liq you boutta hit, drop me 2 bills".

He scrunched his brows, "Who told you I was boutta hit a liq?". 

I gave him a dumb facial expression. "For someone who doesn't want their sis to know.. yo calls hella loud".

"you said 2 bills right?". we both laughed, pointing at each other and then ending it with dapping each other up.

 My brother man