𝐰𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞. | a. skywalker

𝐟𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞

"I don't sleep well anymore."

I cock my head to the side slightly, staring up at Anakin. His eyes have a glassy sheen in the moonlight; physically, he's here, but mentally, he's far out of reach.

I place a hand gently on his back, drawing circles on his bare skin. Normally, such an intimate gesture would have my skin tingling, but the worry creased between my brows has dulled any other emotional reaction.

"Talk to me, Ani," I cooed, trying to nudge him back to the present. "Tell me what's on your mind."

His eyes meet mine for only a split second before he pushes himself up off the bed.

"I'm just so frustrated lately. With the Council, with Obi-Wan, with everything. I've become the most famous Jedi through these Clone Wars, kriff, I've been plastered all over the Holonet, the title 'Hero With No Fear' ringing through the headlines and the streets. Yet, the Council refuses to grant me the rank of master, and all Obi-Wan does is chide me like I'm still his Padawan. "Patience', he tells me, but I'm running out of it."

My eyes remain trained intently on him, his footsteps shuffled as he paced around my room, his hands entangled in his own curls.

"You expect too much of yourself," I said softly.

He huffed. "I'm the most powerful Jedi the Order has ever seen, and yet they treat me like I'm just one of the masses."

"Power itself is not the defining trait of a great Jedi, much less a Master," I answered honestly.

His head whipped around, and for the first time all night, his eyes were fixated on me, though narrowed enough to send a shiver down my spine. "Whose side are you on, anyways?"

I sighed. "I'm not on anyone's side. I'm listening to you, and I'm offering my thoughts. I understand that you're frustrated, and I'm not blaming you for that in any way. But as your girlfriend, I'm going to be honest with you in a way no one else can, because no one else has the place in your life that I do."

The firmness of my voice surprised me, but it seemed to get Anakin's attention, because the look on his face softened slightly.

"You're all over the Holonet, yes, but it's not like you don't feed into it. I've seen it, so don't try to deny it. I know you love the recognition; you smile for the cameras, give a few words to the journalists, attend political banquets and gatherings and relish in the decorum. I understand that you love the spotlight, but truthfully, it probably comes across as arrogance to the Council. They practice copious amounts of humility and discipline- so much so that it makes my head spin sometimes, I'll admit- but you could try to walk in that path a little closer. That might explain the patience that Obi-Wan is advising. I don't think he's against you, not at all. Sure, he's quite the traditional Jedi in many aspects, but he'd do anything for you, and that says a lot."

"He's like my father," Anakin mumbles quietly, taking a seat on the bed next to me. "I guess it's just hard to differentiate what is what when I have the Chancellor agreeing with everything I just said, and the Order saying the complete opposite."

I resist the urge to shudder at the mention of the Chancellor. I make a mental note not to bring up the unsettling conversation I had with him earlier. While it still concerns me, I know better than to drive Anakin away when he's at his most vulnerable. I can only hope that he trusts me like he said he does.

"The Chancellor may be a friend to you, but he is no Jedi," I remind him, settling for a lighter tone regarding the subject I so desperately want nothing to do with. "At the end of the day, he's just a politician. He might see your strength, but he'll never completely understand the Jedi Order, and why we do the things we do."