Is It Really Illegal? This is Gotham.

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Oswald sipped his Irish Coffee as he stared out the window of the coffee shop he was sitting in

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Oswald sipped his Irish Coffee as he stared out the window of the coffee shop he was sitting in. He watched the cars go by.

A black Mini Cooper. 

A grey Chevy Malibu.

A white Jeep.

"Well, don't you look like quite the sad sack," someone said.

"Well, don't you look like quite the sad sack," someone said

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Oswald turned to see Victor Zsasz standing over him. "I was hoping you could help with that," he replied. "Have a seat."

Victor sat across from Oswald, a smirk prominent on his face. Oswald couldn't help but notice his two holsters with loaded guns that the assassin wore proudly on his sides, without any attempt at concealment. And yet, no one in the coffee shop seemed concerned with this. It was just another day in Gotham City. "Would you like me to order something for you?" Oswald asked.

"Oh, I'll just have what you're having," Zsasz told him.

Oswald moved to get up and go over to the counter but paused when Zsasz reached across the table and snatched Oswald's drink. He took a sip and licked his lips. "Yum. Thanks. So anyway, why did you want to hire me?"

Oswald frowned, upset that his drink had been taken, but he knew he could not argue with the assassin. "I never said I wanted to hire you."

"But of course you do. That's why everyone wants to see me," Zsasz pointed out.

Oswald bit his lip to prevent himself from saying something he'd regret. "Yes, yes, I would like to hire you. You're the best assassin I know."

"Alright, who's the target?" Victor asked, taking another sip of Oswald's drink.

The Penguin hesitated. "This is where it gets complicated. Jonathan Crane."

Zsasz's eyes widened and chuckled. "You want me to kill one of my most trusted- and rich- associates? Why don't you just ask one of your lackeys to do it? Why me?"

"If I send one of my men, Jonathan will know it's me who's behind it. He can't know it was me. So I'll pay you double Jonathan's normal rate so you can gain his trust and then dispose of him!" Oswald explained.

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