Chapter 4

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OCTOBER 27 2PM

"I'm not going!" I yelled angrily at my mom, she had heard about the party Tyler was throwing this Halloween. I don't know how the hell she found that out. "Oh come on Janet, you need to go out and have some fun." My mother coaxed. "Mom, I have plenty of fun here, in my quiet place reading my books. I don't need to go to a stupid party to have fun!" I said angrily. We have arguments like this frequently, she's always trying to get me to go out and do shit. But I'm happy being alone, she just doesn't get it. My mom sat down on the couch in the living room sighing. I was sitting in the comfy armchair in the corner of the room, reading my book when she came in here talking to me about the party. "Sweetie, I just want you to have a good life. I want you to have friends, and do fun stuff. I don't want you to be locked in the house all the time! It's depressing!" She finally said after a few minutes of silence. I could feel my blood boiling and my temper rising, but I know better than to get an attitude with my own mother. I may be bigger than her but she will whoop my ass if she has to. "Look mom, I know you want me to go out and make friends and stuff. But some people are just better off without friends, and I'm one of those people." I told her calmly sitting down beside her.

She had her arms crossed and her lips were pursed, something she does a lot when she's thinking. I sighed rolling my eyes, expecting no response from her, I walked down the hall to our library. It wasn't nothing too special, just a warm cozy room with a fireplace and a comfy loveseat, and 4 book shelves filled with books. It may not be much to my mom or any other person but it was very special to me. I love reading, it's so peaceful and calming. But the books without the pictures are the best, you can really use your imagination to bring all the characters to life. I walked inside smelling the burning wood in the fireplace and the smell of groundwood paper, that smell is heaven to me. I went over to one of the bookshelves to grab a random book to my interest, but I stopped.

The bookshelves were empty, they were all empty. I stood there on the spot processing all of this shit. Just this morning they were here and now they're all gone-

I let out a huff of anger and stomped back in the living room, my mom was still sitting on the couch in her work clothes, watching the news now. "Mom?" I said, trying my best not to sound upset. "Yes honey?" She said turning around, smiling and batting her eyes at me. "Where the books at?" I asked as calmly and patiently as I could. "Oh they're put away somewhere, and you won't be seeing them again until you go out and make some friends." She said, not looking at me and keeping focused on the tv. I stared at the back of her head in disbelief I just can't believe she would do all of this to make me go out and socialize. "Are you kidding me right now?! You took all the books because I don't want to go to a stupid party?!" I said raising my voice. "It's not just the party dear, you need to find some more hobbies, go socialize with some people." She said. "I'M SOCIALIZING RIGHT NOW! I'M TALKING TO YOU AM I?!" I screamed. She stood up fast and marched over to me. "Don't raise your voice at me Janet! I'm doing what's best for you! Life is too damn short to be wasting away in the house reading books all the time! There's a whole world out there! There's people out there who had good friends- and bad things happened to them and they never got to see or talk to them again!" She said angrily pointing at me.

"Like you?" I said, she stared at me in shock and slowly lowered her hand. Her angered face now filled with pain and guilt and sadness. She never likes talking about death, or even saying the word dying, she always says "bad things". She had told me a year ago about some friends she had back in high school, and that "bad things" had happened to them, and she never got to see them again. It really surprised me when she told me, she's never been the one to talk about sad things like that. But she told me one night, it was midnight and I was just heading to bed when I noticed the light in her room was still on. I usually like to stay up a bit late to read, even on school nights. But my mother always go to bed at the same time every night, ten o clock. So seeing her still awake was strange, I walked into her room without knocking, and I saw her sitting on her bed, staring out the window. The room was dimly lit, only by her desk lamp so I could barely see her face. But it had been raining that night and when the lighting flashed I could see the sad look on her face, and her cheeks were damp with tears. I immediately ran over to her asking her what was wrong, and she told me about these 3 friends; Stewart, Freddy, and Jason. She told me how "bad things" had happened to them, and she had witnessed these "bad things" happening to Freddy and Jason. She never went into detail about it, but I knew she was talking about them dying.

She cried into my shoulder, making me feel helpless, not knowing what to do. I still think about that night every now and then while I'm laying in my bed. My mother's never been the type to show emotions like that, so whatever had happened had been really bad. But what was it? I would never ask of course, I don't want to make her upset, I want her to be happy.

But I slipped up and it just came out, and before I knew it my mom was sobbing. I hugged her, trying to calm her down. "I'm sorry mom, I didn't mean to bring it up." I said hugging her. She let out a few more sobs before letting go of me and wiping her face, I was also crying a little bit, I hate seeing my mother cry. "You have nothing to be sorry for, I'm sorry." She said sitting back down on the couch, I sat down beside her, staring at her cautiously because she looked like she was about to start crying again. "I just want you to have some friends, just talk to some people. See the world, my friends never got to do that.. They were killed before it could even happen Janet. I wish I could just go back, and talk to them one more time."

She burst into tears again and I held her helplessly. I've never heard her use the word "Kill" the sort of words she tries to avoid, so I know she's being very serious. "It's okay mama, I'm sure they're in a better place now." I whispered. She sat up again wiping her face, and replacing it with her usual poker face. "You don't have to go out. I'll give you your books back Janet, I don't want to ever take something away from you that makes you happy." She said, she stood up to leave the living room. "Wait." I said, she stopped, turning around and looking at me. "I'll go do something today, I'll meet some new people." I told her. I really didn't want to, but seeing how her face lit up made me feel all warm inside. "Really?" She asked, now smiling. I nodded standing up and sighing, I grabbed my jacket off the coat rack and put it on. "I know a few spots where some of my schoolmates hangout, I'll go there." I said, I really don't, I'm an outcast.

"That sounds great Jan! I'll put the books back, just call me if you need anything." She said hugging me, then she ushered me out the door, closing it behind me with a soft click. I could hear her now walking back to the living room. I stood there with my back up against the door, my eyes closed, letting the wind blow in my face. After about a minute I walked off the porch and made my way down the sidewalk.

(Internet was out again, I'm starting to ease into this book more now that I got a proper storyline, this is gonna be good. Hope you guys enjoyed!🎃🎃🔪)

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