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where have you been?

felix woke up with a Instagram message on his phone

"hi, it's me, hyunjin. it's weekend, so, do you have time? we can hang out."

felix was, in fact, free.
so he agreed.

they decided to meet at a near by park.

"hi hyunjin!" Felix waved at the boy, sitting on a bench.

hyunjin smiled when he saw that adorable guy approaching him.

"hi felix."

"so, why did you want to hang out with me?" felix asked.

"oh, just because? I don't know, I think I wanted to get to know you better."

"oh, okay." Felix smiled.

"so, how are you?" hyunjin asked

"yeah, pretty good. how about you?"

"been better."

"why?"

"agh, just personal reasons."
he wasn't going to say that he was stressed about his new book, no one knew hyunjin was a writer.

"oh, alright."

there was a silence for a while, until hyunjin decided to speak.

"so, what do you want to do?"

"hmm, do you want to go on a walk? it's a nice day, and I like nature."

"alright, let's go."

hyunjin got up and they started walking.

they were laughing and talking, enjoying the others presence.

"how did you even ended up working at the coffee shop?" hyunjin asked

"well, my friend chan wanted to own a coffee shop, and when he finally opened it, me and few other friends decided to help him. there are four of us in total. chan is the manager, when he has time, he helps at the counter. the counter is also jeongins job, he's always there, and when we have a lot of customers, jisung or me are helping him. jisung is mostly in the kitchen, baking together with me. And I'm baking and sometimes helping jeongin at the counter. Oh Im also managing the bookshelf, since all of my friends are dumb and think books are overrated. They rather read some smutty wattpad story.

hyunjin chuckled.
"so, you like books?"

"I love books. I feel like I can escape reality when I read books."

"do you have a favorite author? someone you would recommend. I like books too, you know?

felix chuckled and he started thinking.
"hmm, definitely sam hwang. I read a lot of poetry, but his books are something else. They are my favorite. I can relate to these books, escape reality and just cry. No other author can do that as good as sam hwang."

hyunjin hid a smile.
felix was his big fan, and it made him feel warm, but cold at the same time, when he realized what felix said. he's mostly writing about sad things, because it's the easiest thing to write about.
people write in the comments that they can relate to his books, but finally hearing it out loud, and from a person like felix, it got to him.

"you said you can relate to his books?"

"yeah, I feel like that."
hyunjin watched as felixs smile disappeared for a split second before he started smiling again.
it was so quick that someone could have missed it, but hyunjin swore he saw it.

⚠️sh and suicide mentions⚠️

"well then, do you have a favorite book from sam hwang?"

"behind it all." felix said without hesitation.

hyunjin felt his heart drop a little.
"behind it all." talked about suffering while acting you're fine, helping everyone else while ignoring your needs, self harm and committing suicide, because it's too much.

"is this book one of the books you can relate?"
hyunjin asked

*please say no*
hyunjin thought.

"yeah, probably. I read it few days ago, all over again. I love the book."

*fuck*
hyunjin thought.

"is the book happy?"
hyunjin asked, already knowing the answer

"well, not really. I won't tell you more tho, read it."
Felix chuckled.

*his smile could heal the world, and he can relate to my saddest book?*
hyunjin thought.