𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐬

CHAPTER 36

Ever found a moment in your life when you completely wanted to scream at the other person and even wanted to prove with your blood that it wasn't true, but couldn't? Because you knew, no matter what you spoke, they would always believe their own, mind. It was exactly, what I felt right now. I didn't have it in me to voice out my innocence.

"Did you enjoy it- when he- touched you?" Haider had asked me.

It echoed in my mind, again and again, and every time, it felt like a punch to the gut. How could he conclude, no cross that, even dared to think that I would enjoy being touched by Dean? Did he misinterpret that I was talking about my boyfriend? It couldn't be, because the words 'cousin-brother', and 'Dean', had vibrated with my vehemence. He had to be deaf, to not be able to hear me properly.

For a moment, I thought, maybe I was not able to narrate what had happened to me. And because of that, he had asked me this stupid question. It wasn't possible. The pain and the immense amount of courage it took to finally, utter the words that had been hidden too long, wouldn't make me, mistaken a single bit. Then, it was solely Haider's interpretation.

He had lately grown a talent to misunderstand my every word and every action.

Moreover, it might be possible that he no longer cared deeply about anyone, after his brother's death. He even ignored me for two years for the very same reason: he believed, he couldn't make anyone happy, or more importantly, didn't deserve happiness. This fact was convincing because only a special degree, of coldness, could make him ask, such a third-grade question.

Or it might be because I wasn't worth sympathy?

It could be, because he had himself, said that I should be glad that I had never experienced my loved ones' death or was the cause of it. No matter how many times the words repeated inside my head, they always pierced my heart.

"No," I whispered, my voice shaking from suppressed tears. He began to say something but my thumb pressed over the end button, while I slid down the bed. There was nothing left to hear now.

The damage was already done.

My gaze stayed fixated on the wall ahead of me, and tears flowed from my eyes. Did the world lack, honest, and faithful people? Couldn't anybody be trusted now? Had everyone become so heartless that they were blind to the sufferings of me? Why was it every time that, whenever someone close to me, someone I trusted blindly, ended up hurting me?

Who would have thought that Haider was capable of making such a rude remark?

His name blinked up on the phone again, and I threw it across the bed. The next came my dresses which were loosely hanging on the door, and they ended up being thrown on the floor. The next items were my college bag, bedsheet, and comb. Notebooks flew in the air and scattered the floor. The more distorted the room became, the more relieved I felt to at least unload some of my burden.

Why was he calling me again? To say some more of the hurtful words? Or did he want to ask one of his stupid questions again? Whatever it might be, I wasn't picking up his call again. He had hurt me beyond forgiveness.

"Aless!" Mom called out from downstairs.

My heart rate skyrocketed while my body froze in shock. I didn't respond. It felt like, being caught red-handed, after stealing. My situation was similar to a thief. They dishevelled the house in search of treasure and I'd wrecked my room, in search of peace. Mom would freak out, if she saw, my room looked like a tornado had just crossed from here.

How could I explain any of this to her?

No plausible explanation stirred my mind.

"Aless!" She called again, and it felt like the sirens of the police car approaching.