(Slow Update)
This is my random thoughts and ideas becoming a story. It will include y/n with middle aged women, like Helena Bonham Carter, Olivia Coleman, Emma Thompson, Meryl Streep and other I love.. As these stories come from my random thoughts...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
┌──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┐ grief └──────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┘
The chattering of people around me started to get faded. They were leaving. They were leaving me alone with the coffin in which a part of me laying lifelessly. I wanted to go with them, but I couldn't. My whole body felt so numb and my legs refused to move, against my will. No. I want to stay. My heart refused to go with them, not my body. I just couldn't still believe what happened. It still felt like a dream which was totally unexpected nightmare.
The tightness around my chest started again as my eyes started to blur with my own tears. The short, sharp breath of mine indicated that I was about to lose my mind. My body trembled with raging sadness. I lost my mind and started crying. I did not even cry the whole time since I heard the news as I denied that a part of me, my dearest friend, left the whole world behind. Now, I found myself crying in front of her coffin which was going to close behind the mausoleum forever.
I let my loud sobs out through my throat while my trembled body started losing balance in a short period of time and my legs nearly collapsed. I did not care about it at all. My body felt already numb. Besides, compared to the pain in my heart, the external pain was nothing, literally nothing. When I was about to fall down on the ground uncontrollably, I felt someone caught me and helped my body settle down calmly.
"Shhh... I got you. I've got you, darling." She soothed me.
It's her. My one and only, Helena Bonham Carter, who always noticed me if something happened.
One of my arms was automatically wrapping around one of hers tightly, clinging to her for my dear life. My head took a position on her shoulder, pressing my tear-wet face against her arm. I felt her other arm putting around my back, pulling me into her arms, closing to her body. I felt so comfortable, yet so weak under her touch. I never wanted to feel like this! Being so pathetic, so weak! That's why I didn't cry for days. Moreover, I didn't still believe that she left me, breaking her promise.
I could not do anything, but continued sobbing in her arms until no tears left. I could not recall how long I cried. I lost track of time. I started to get furious with myself for not being able to stop crying and the rise of pain in my chest.
"Hel... please... make it stop! It's so painful. And... my... my heart hurts so much. Why? Why? It hurts. Please...Make it stop. It's hurting me so much. It's burning. And I'm so tired. Please..."
"Shh... I know. I know, dear. I know. I know how you feel. I know how painful it is. I'm so sorry. So sorry." She mumbled, rubbing the back of my head.
"How about we go back home first? We've been here for about an hour now. The weather is getting cold now. We need to go back, or you'll catch a cold. Hmm? Come." I just nodded because all the energy left my body. She helped me to get up. She put her arm around me, guiding to our car. I looked back the coffin for the last time. "Goodbye for now." I whispered and we walked back to the car.
Hours later, we got back home. I still couldn't stop crying. Tears still flowing down my face. The weight of the loss was still heavy on my heart, and the tears seemed endless. My heavy legs were tiredly carried me to our room. I took off my shoes and some heavy clothes before placing myself on the bed. I had no intention to change my clothes. I was so tired. I did not even realise that I was trying to make myself feel comfort by pulling my knees up to my chest, wrapping myself in my own arms, transforming into foetal position.
Not too long I felt Helena laid down beside me on the bed, offering a comforting presence, pulling me to her side as close as possible, intertwining our legs.
"It's alright, Y/N," Helena murmured, softly stroking my hair. "Let it out. I'm here for you."
That's all... That's all she said. I leaned into Helena's embrace, finding solace in the warmth of her arms. There were no words that could erase the pain, and Helena knew it. She just gave me warmth and love through physical communication, her love language, sharing my pain with her in silence. Her unwavering support was such a source of comfort.
The tears continued to fall, but I knew that with Helena by my side, I could navigate the storms of grief and emerge on the other side, stronger and ready to face the world once more.
AN. ∙ This is really short one, but hope you like it. These days, I want to do nothing, but write. But it's also very difficult to finish what you are writing at the moment. But I need to write something. So here we are. I wrote a small one.
But I'm so sorry that I couldn't make fluffy ones these days. I wanna give you happy moments, but I just have to do what my will leads me. These days, I lost motivation, and myself. All I want to do is crying which I can't cause I get no chance to express my feelings. So, I write down a part of my current feelings.
∙ I am trying to finish some of my drafts up, especially Helen's. I couldn't keep my promise that I said I would finish the story for her birthday. But I hope I could give you those stories in near future!
∙ Thank you for reading my imperfections with love. Thank you so much for your support and time on reading my book! And again, thank you for being patient with me.
