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chapter four
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"All I'm saying is, you have to get back out there some time."
Taehyung sighed, shutting his eyes.
He was sick of having this conversation, over and over again. His parents, his brother - telling him constantly that he needed to pick his broken heart up off the floor and just get on with it.
And now, apparently, his best friend had decided to take up that message too.
"Jimin-ah," he said down the phone, pacing the empty apartment softly that evening. It was closing on midnight, but Jin was out for drinks with his colleagues. "I'm not ready yet."
Yeontan punctuated the end of this sentence with a sharp yap, hovering by the front door and looking up at Taehyung as if to say - my walkies are well overdue, you puny human.
It was true, he'd been on the phone to Jimin for a while, failing to take Yeontan out for his nightly stroll before bed. It wasn't just because Jimin lived in Busan, whereas Taehyung was in Seoul, so they barely saw each other. Jimin was also his financial advisor - and Taehyung's financial situation was, to be honest, dire. He and Jimin had a call like this once a month, to see exactly how much Taehyung needed to sell, just to stay afloat.
Being an independent artist, after all, was not a lucrative career.
"But think about it," Jimin protested now, his melodic voice echoing down the line. "It can't be a bad thing, meeting more people, can it? Even if you don't end up dating them, maybe it will rake in some more business for you. Get your name out there."
"So you're saying you want me to hook up with women, and then sell them a vase before they make a run for it the next morning?" Taehyung quipped, squeezing the phone hard against his ear. He tried to keep his tone teasing, but even he could sense the irritation seeping into it.
Jimin could sense it, too. "Tae," he said now, soft and reassuring. "You know I'm just looking out for you."
Taehyung pushed his glasses up onto his forehead, and pinched the space between his eyebrows.
"I know," he mumbled, feeling the familiar claws of anxiety sink themselves into his shoulders and stomach. "I know, but I... I can't. Not yet."
It was silent on the other end of the line.
Taehyung had never verbalised to his best friend exactly what this familiar feeling entailed, but this silence implied that Jimin knew full well about the cloud of gloom that had Taehyung in it's grip over the past year.
