Don't Leave Me... Again |[TMF]|

3- In the shadows of Denial

Drew's POV-

I'm in deep thought when I hear singing? It isnt quite clear, so i move closer to where the sound is coming from.

Its Jake.

My cheeks heat up when hearing his voice and staring at him through the crack of the door. He was like an angel sent from heaven. His voice was so delicate and yet so full of passion that I could listen to it forever.

Remembering what Henry whispered to Liam when I was leaving came rushing back. 'He likes him too much.' I can feel myself becoming a blushing madness.

Drew. You have a girlfriend.

What if I do like him?

No I have a girlfriend.

I quickly make my way to the bathroom, before the bell rings. I splash water onto my face attempting to cool myself. I look at myself through the mirror.

What if I am gay? What would my dad say?

I stare at myself trying to find an answer in my eyes. Leaning against the sink, I look down. Scoffing and shaking my head.

My mind is racing with all these mixed-up feelings. I hate to admit it,  but I think I've got a crush on my best friend, Jake. But here's the thing: I've always thought I was straight, so this whole situation is freaking me out.

I'm staring at the mirror, looking at my reflection, and I can't help but think about that picture of me and Jake on my phone. We've been tight for years, sharing secrets, going on adventures, and just having a blast together. Our friendship means the world to me, but lately, it's been getting complicated.

I remember how my heart starts racing whenever Jake flashes that cheeky grin, or how my stomach does somersaults when our hands accidentally touch. I've been trying to brush it off as just friendship stuff, but deep down, I know it's more than that.

I'm struggling inside, thinking about what this means for who I am. Will my dad accept me? Will I lose the connection I have with Jake if I spill the beans about my true feelings?

I let out a sigh, realising I can't keep running away from who I really am. It's time to face my feelings and be honest with myself. I grab a random notebook and a pen, determined to write down everything that's going on in my head and figure things out.

At first its hard to put it into words. But on word after the other I start pouring my heart out onto the pages, I give myself permission to explore these emotions without judgment. I acknowledge the fear and uncertainty, but I also embrace the excitement that come with accepting myself for who I truly am. Deep down, I'm more scared of others than myself.

With every word I write, I feel a weight lifting off my shoulders. I know the road ahead won't be easy, but I'm ready to embrace my own truth and face whatever challenges come my way.

And so, with a newfound sense of courage, I close my notebook, ready to take the first step. Not literally. I'm not making the first move.

I smile to myself accepting my thoughts and ready to leave to go to my next class.

Then it hit me.

I'm gay.

The bell rings and I walk nervously to the science lab for my next lesson. Slightly fidgeting with my hands on the way knowing damn well I'm sitting right next to Jake.

Ah Jake.

I feel myself getting more nervous my palms are literally sweating-

I walk inside looking at my seat with a blonde boy waving frantically to get my attention right by my seat. My cheeks start getting warm and tingly. My heart is beating so loud that I bet everyone can hear it. I feel tense.

I take a deep breath walking over to my seat, ready to spend another day together as friends.

As, I settle awkwardly in my seat, I try to engage in a friendly conversation with him, just like I always do. But I just can't. I open my mouth but then close it again, as if I was thinking of what to say. I just cant get anything out. I feel him staring at me from the side, I turn to him.

Shit-

I have never seemed to notice his light hazel eyes.

They have a unique blend of colors a beautiful combination of light brown, green, and golden hues. Its so soft and warm. I could see a sparkle that has a light in a way that draws me in. They change color depending on the lighting and his emotions. They're like little windows into his soul, reflecting his inner thoughts and feelings. I could stare at them forever.

"Drew?" Jake laughs nervously. "You alright? Dont tell me your addicted to my eyes too." He teases.

I look away from his eyes. "What makes you think that?" I manage to say. Rubbing my hand on my neck.

Was it really that obvious? I thought to myself.

He laughs, "It was pretty obvious," he says as if he just read my mind. "But hey. I know I'm good looking. No need to hide from it." He flirts.

I laugh, "Sure. Anything you wish... Darling~" I flirt back jokingly.

We stare at eachother silently and then burst out with laughter.

Yes I'm laughing I'm having a fun time of my school life, but my heart aches. Knowing deep down, I will never be able be with Jake. I cant help but wonder how he would react if confessed. If I ever will.

Will he feel the same way? Or will it change your friendship?

For now, I have decided to cherish the friendship I have with my bestfriend and take things slowly with one step at a time. I value him as a person, and I don't want to risk losing that connection.

We laugh at jokes throughout the lesson and mess about. I try to act normally, but it's harder to do then said. But sooner or later the lesson must come to an end and the rest of my lessons are separated from his.

_________________
A/N: Hehe.

Sorry for taking so long. I'm revising for my exams 😭😭 and finishing art projects. I regret taking it. It takes so long and I'm crying rn.

I'll be starting to write Chapter 4 tomorrow. ;)

Your one and only Lemon <3

P.S The image put on this Chapter doesn't belong to me. I didn't have time to make one :) Ty