A Dozen Velvet Tomorrows//Avenged Sevenfold •Synyster Gates•

Young & Tragic

I don't know what time I got to Huntington, but it was dark as shit. As soon as I got to the house, I felt drained, a million memories of Josh and I hanging out here with our friends or by ourselves flooded my mind.

I slowly got out of the car, grabbed my bag, and started walking to the front door. I didn't even think about knocking. This was home.

I grabbed the door handle and opened the door. I stepped inside. My mom and dad, Matt, and Josh's mom were sitting in the dining room. As soon as they saw me, his mom and my mom hugged me, his mom and I cried together.

I felt helpless. We cried, we laughed, they asked me if I was okay, I did the same. When they asked me if I was okay, I didn't answer them.

I wanted sleep. "I'm going to sleep." I told them. They hugged me and told me if I needed anything to just ask. I nodded and walked to what hasn't been my room in 4 years.

Life was good, things were great, but Josh died. The person I love died. I knew because of this that I wasn't gunna be okay for awhile.

As soon as I entered my room, I crumpled. It's not going to be the same. No more laughing, no more stealing each others cigarettes, no more late night talks, no more date nights, no more Josh at all.

I couldn't sleep. I threw on a pair of old converse and quietly walked out of my room. Deja fucking vu.

One of the many things I did consistently as a teenager was sneak out. I didn't want to wake up my parents.

I got outside and quietly closed the front door. I'd go on a walk. When I started walking to the end of the driveway, I noticed a person standing at the end of it.

That's not fucking weird. I was about to turn back around and go back inside, but the person faced me. The lights on the house made it easier to see their face.

My eyes went wide when I realized it was Brian. "Hey." He said. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked towards him, stopping a few feet away.

"What in the hell are you doing here this late? Matt doesn't live here anymore, you know that. He lives with Val." I said to him, confused. "I know. I just-forget it." He said as he turned away and started walking down the driveway.

"Brian, wait you dumbass." I said as lightly jogged up to him. We started walking down the road together. "What is it you were gunna say?" I questioned. "That I was sorry." He said softly.

"Sorry for what? You haven't done anything." I told him. The only thing he did was 8 years ago, but I really didn't want to think about that right now, or at all.

"Your loss." He said. I stopped walking. Matt must have told him and the guys. "Yeah, well, that's not gon-that's not gonna bring Josh back, now is it?" I kind of snapped as tears began to lightly flood my vision and trail down my cheeks.

I quickly wiped them away. "I know, and I'm sorry. If you need anything, I'm here." He offered. It was kind of him. But I couldn't help but wonder if he was just being this nice so he could gain something.

Maybe he was thinking about the kiss too. "What's your motive here, Brian?" I asked sort of harsh. "Motive?" He questioned, obviously confused.

"It doesn't matter." I sighed. "Talk to me." Brian said. I didn't want to, but the girls weren't getting here till tomorrow and Issac and Sarah were busy with Carson.

I sighed and talked my fucking head off to Brian. About all the things I went through with Josh, our meeting, our friendship, our friends, the wild fucking times we all had with Josh. I talked to him about Luke, about our show we had the night were everything started. Everything. I even told him about all the shit I kept from my parents and my brother growing up.

The only thing I didn't talk to him about, was one of the many things that happened that same night Velvet had one of there best shows. I didn't talk about, bring up, or insinuate to the kiss from all those years ago.

I had no idea I was crying until I felt Brian but an arm over my shoulders and pull me towards him. "Don't do that." He said softly as we walked.

"And why the fuck not?" I asked through tears.

"Because, your too fucking pretty to cry." He stated. I scoffed. "Whatever Brian. I just want to know. When did everything get so fucking tragic?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "I have no idea." He said truthfully. I lightly pulled away from him and sighed. "I wish I knew why things were young and tragic because what the fuck is this." I said.

Brian didn't say anything. "It fucking sucks. It feels like someone's playing a sick fucking joke on me, but I know that's not the case. Goddamn I wish it was though. Josh is dead, and that's no joke, it's fucking reality. It shouldn't be, but that's what it is, that's what's it is and I fucking hate it." I ranted.

"I know." Brian said as we still walked, having no actual destination. The conversation then fell into a comfortable silence and the only thing you could hear was the sound of our feet as we continued walking down the road.

"Hey Brian?" I questioned, breaking the silence. "Yeah?" He answered. "You have any cigarettes?" I asked. I usually smoked Josh's most of the time, or Kates. But I couldn't really smoke Josh's anymore.

He nodded and pulled out a pack and opened it towards me. I took one out and put it between my lips. I was about to pull out one of Josh's lighters that I had in my pocket when Brian produced his own. I scowled at him and he put the lighter away.

I took out Josh's lighter and lit the cigarette. I may not be able to smoke his cigarettes again or be around him again, but at least my cigarettes could still be lit by him, in a way.

I smoked the cigarette as Brian and I walked, falling into a comfortable silence once again.