A Dozen Velvet Tomorrows//Avenged Sevenfold •Synyster Gates•

Funeral

It's been 2 days since I found out Josh died, and 2 days since I found unexpected solace in Brian. I don't know why, but he was there for me.

And I know I had Kate, Cassie, Allison, Rebecca, Issac and Sarah to talk to about this shit, but I was his girlfriend. And I'm not saying this like they have no right to grieve over his death because oh my god they do.

Josh was their friend and had been for many years. But Josh and I were always closer than the others. Hell, I remember when that kid ran to my house all the way across town in 4th grade all because his parents were arguing.

He didn't wanna tell anyone else about it.

Its just- I don't know how to fucking explain it.

Brian was just there. He's been here since he and I walked the night I found out. I hated it, but he was helping me through it in a way that no one else could.

Today...Josh's funeral. I was standing in a line with my friends, Josh's mom right next to me and our arms through one another.

Next to me was Cassie, then Issac and Sarah, Rebecca, Kate, then Allison.

On the other side of the casket was my mom and dad, my brother, Val, Brian, Jimmy, Zack, and Johnny along with a few others.

I sniffled and looked across and there was Brian, already staring at me. For a split second I forgot the reasoning of all of us being there. But that went away shortly after I looked away. It all came rushing back.

My childhood best friend, my boyfriend, was gone.

I shook my head and my silent tears quickly became loud sobs. Josh's mom tightened her arm around mine and I did the same.

God I'd miss him. As the reverend was talking, I couldn't listen. I wanted to, I did, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to feel like this. Eventually it was over. Slowly, people left.

My mom and dad hugged me then left. Same with Josh's mom. She was going out of town, to visit Josh's dads grave. She asked if I wanted to go with her, but I respectfully and politely declined.

It was just Issac, Sarah, Kate, Allison, Rebecca, Cassie and myself. My brother and his gaggle of friends was still there, I didn't care about that though. We group hugged as we cried.

"If you need anything, let us know. We  all feel depressed and we're all grieving, but I know how much he meant to you." Sarah explained. I smiled a sad smile and thanked her. I then told all of them that if they needed me to just call.

Then they left. Matt and the guys then walked up to me. "Do you want me to stay?" Matt asked. I shook my head. "I want to be alone right now." I told him honestly. He nodded, hugged me and then left.

The rest of them hugged me and left except for Brian. I sighed. "You okay?" He questioned. I glared at him. Of course I wasn't okay. "Brian, no, alright. You know that, Matt knows that, my mom and dad know that, and so do my friends." I ranted.

"If you need anything I'm here for you." He told me. I nodded and thanked him and he then walked away. I put my hands to my forehead and let out a deep breathe. I need to write some music. It would help with this.

I got into my car and sat there, finally having the energy to call the girls to meet me in my parents garage. They all agreed and said they'd meet me there.

I was in the garage, when their cars started pulling up. We then started the longest fucking song writing process we ever had.

Written with memories, heartache, tears, grief, and a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

It was one song that was written in about 3 or 4 hours. Every single of one of us poured out fucking emotions into the lyrics. Now we just need to go the studio and record.

As soon we had the lyrics I looked at them. "We need to record this." Is all I said. "Oh one hundred percent." Kate said as she agreed with me. We didn't want to waste anytime.

So, instead of going back to Los Angeles, we went to were we recorded a few of our demos in the earlier early years of Velvet Tomorrow.

It was in Huntington, but it didn't get that much traction. We all got there and started doing our thing. Although we didn't have anyone to help us produce it, I had an idea.

I stopped mid song and looked at the girls. "We need someone to produce this shit, and I don't mean the producer we have with that record company, we need someone who understands this, what it means." I told them seriously.

They agreed. "What about your brother or one of his friends?" Allison suggested. I furrowed my eyebrows. My brother didn't know much about this either, but then I had another idea.

"Jimmy." I said. I'm pretty sure I remember having a conversation with him about producing forever ago. It was worth a shot.

"Go get 'em." Rebecca told me. I nodded and left. They really had no problem about this. I mean it was about Josh, we cared about this a shit ton.

I drove to where I figured they might be, my brother's house. I knocked and eventually Val answered. "Hey Abby." She said with a sympathetic smile. I wasted no time. "Hi Val, are the guys here?" I questioned.

She nodded and let me in. "Hey, what are you doing here?" Matt asked with a look wondering if I was okay or not. "Velvet and I are in the studio right now as we speak." I told them.

"Like right this minute?" Zach questioned I nodded. "People release grief and weird ways." I shrugged. "I get that, but why'd you come here?" Brian asked. "I need to kidnap your drummer." I told them honestly.

"I didn't do anything!" Jimmy yelled as he raised his hands. It put a small smile on my face. "I know Jimmy, but I'm kidnapping you to help produce this song...and possible record." I said honestly.

The guys' eyes all went wide. "You're working on an album right now?" Matt asked. I shrugged. Yes this song, this album, and kidnapping Jimmy was all a spontaneous trip received by the death and grief of Josh, but it was gunna happen.

I was waiting for one of them to ask why given the fact we had his funeral not even a day ago, but it never came. I'm glad they understood.

Jimmy said he'd help and then he and I were off to the studio. To produce and record the song that to us, would embody Josh.